Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
And again, what's with the unfortunate costumes on the backup talent?
Friday, February 23, 2007
Karan Arjun (1995)
(Yes, I know there's lots of fugly in this song including, but not limited to, Juhi's mini-skirt and pumps, Aamir's high-waisted jeans, and the worst dance moves ever.)
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
I realize Indian came out in 1996, but I doubt these looks were completely acceptable even then. Kamal Hassan is a fabulous actor but he isn't exactly known for his dancing. So you can only imagine what these outfits looked like in motion. People ought not dress good actors so poorly.
Before we examine the abuse heaped upon Kamal, I would like some sort of explanation as to why these backup dancers look like Cats meets Miami Ink...
ENTER: Our Hero. Count Dracula anyone? Yes, this outfit comes complete with spooky dance moves.
But then there's grandma's flowered shirt impeccably bow-tied at the waist to show off Milli Vanilli biker shorts complete with "Buh-buh-buh-buh-baby, don't forget my number" moves.
Yes, Kamal, we here at Bollywood Fugly are just as perplexed as you are about your co-star 's clip-on braided ponytail and the fur balls she's wearing as part of her bustier. No, those glasses aren't prescription...
Still, that's far less interesting than your grand finale--a space suit complete with space-ready canine and electrifying dance moves.
[I think this was an attempt at "doing the robot" but they ended up with the "Tequilla" instead.]
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
First we see Anthony in his bar dealing with a tough customer. Just the jacket, folks; no shirt required! Note the crucifix.
Next, we have his concert-going attire... again, leather jacket, no shirt. And the crucifix has changed to an Egyptian ankh. Why? No idea.
Finally, we have his shopping ensemble. When shopping with your fiancee for her wedding dress, no shirt required!
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Friday, February 16, 2007
Naah, that is no way to tuck your shirt in if you meet the heroine, but it is not that fugly if you compare it to....
THIS. Now this is what we call fugly. I am so very sorry that there seems to be no clip of it on youtube. There is this Yodeling part in the bridge of the song (tum mein hal dum) you need to hear to get the full impact.
Well, at least it is a way to reduce the budget for plastic surgery. (btw. the black Latex-clad dominatrix in the middle is Urmila Matondkar)
Oh, and can anybody tell me what´s with the giant cockroach in the back?
But that's just the jump-off!
Who is that masked man? Is it Optimus Prime?
Is it Voltron, Defender of the Universe? Is it an anime villain?
Oh hell, it's MUCH worse!! It's Salman Khan dancing~ aaaaaahhhhhhh!
Sallu dear, they're not laughing with you, they really truly are laughing at you. Just look at the expressions on the audience's face-- they're horrified! Though, in your defense, it may be because the back-up dancers pulled the "one-leg-up-dog-peeing-on-fire-hydrant-then-hump-the-floor" move. Dude, that is SO last year's pageant circuit.
It only gets worse from there. Don't believe me? Forward to 6:50 for the "Madonna Move" [thanks Amir!] *not suggested viewing if you plan on eating in the next 20-30 minutes. Protective eyewear also recommended.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Whatever your feelings about the young writer/film maker, we know you will ALL appreciate Bollywood Fugly's Karan Johar Drinking Game: Valentine's Day Special (TM).
So, pop your copy of KKHH, K3G, KHNH, or KANK into the DVD player, grab a bottle or two (or three) of your favorite potent potable, and...
Take a sip when:
... Shah Rukh Khan stammers.
... you spot a geographic inaccuracy.
... Amitabh mentions "family" or "tradition" (or any Hindi synonyms).
... any of the lead actresses does a hair swish.
... any character makes a reference to "phela pyar" (first love).
... tears appear in the eyes of the leads.
... any self-referential movie music theme plays.
Take two sips when:
... any character makes a reference to the dichotomy between "east" and "west."*
... Shah Rukh Khan's eyebrows turn into a tilde (~) during an emotional scene.
... you see a bevy of tall, skinny blonde girls as backup dancers.
... a small child is referred to by an awful nickname (Laddoo, Fattoo, Sweetoo, Chunky, Twinky, Rinky, Minky, Poo).
... any character makes a reference to homosexuality or "The Gay".
Take a shot when:
... Shah Rukh Khan wears a gauzy, chiffon shirt. (Double shot for every nipple sighting.)
... the lead actresses partake in Karva Chauth rituals.
... the lead actresses wear bizarre garments unsuitable to activity or weather, i.e. silver padded vest or micro-mini at university.
... the lead actor plays a musical instrument without the benefit of appropriate sound equipment.
Down half your bottle during:
... any 500-extra dance extravaganza.
... a singing of the Indian national anthem, or similar displays of nationalism.*
Finish the darn bottle when:
... you spot the tricolor, especially on clothing.
* Rule also applies when playing Bollywood Fugly's Subash Ghai Drinking Game (TM).
Put your own "rules" in the comments! And happy Valentine's Day!
What, then, could be the impulse behind this do-rag? Is it a misguided effort to jump on board the popular Pirates of the Caribbean?
"Sunny, if we're going to be paired in a movie, I insist that you wear a bandanna. I want to pretend you're Johnny Depp."
Friday, February 09, 2007
Monday, February 05, 2007
(Maine Pyar Kiya, 1989)
Doesn't the not-our-heroine girl remind you of Jennifer Grey? Nobody puts Seema in a corner!
I'd also like to point out that Salman's shirt collar accoutrements. I've never seen anything like this piece of man jewelry before, and I've done my share of country line dancing. What are those, exactly? Weights to keep his collar from flying up (as it will do in later wind-swept songs)?
Presenting Captain Uncle Chest to the rescue!
Friday, February 02, 2007
OK, we're a bit pulled back for this shot, but you need to be so in order to take in the whole picture. Obviously, the first thing that catches the eye would be the banana yellow pipecleaner pants that are so tight even Joey Ramone would be uncomfortable in them. And who wears a scarf with a t-shirt? I mean besides, apparently, 80% of Bollywood?
Unfortunately, the video is of poor quality so you can't really make it out, but his shirt says "Super Disco" in sparkly letters.
Now, compare his Dick Tracy primary colored outfit to Sridevi's outfit from the same scene:
Hers is a timeless classic, I think we can all agree.
The lesson to be learned here, however, is simple: if it's warm enough to wear a t-shirt, it's warm enough not to wear a scarf. If it's warm enough for Sridevi to take a bath outside, it's warm enough not to wear a scarf.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
My digging has, so far, unearthed...
From Chor Machaaye Shor:
Feel free to post more links in the comments of this post, especially if you can find something more heinous than Shilpa's Union Jack "bib" and elbow warmers.