Ugly, Ugly, Bollywood Fugly

Oh Rishi, you're so fine! You're so fine you blow my mind! Hey Rishi! Hey Rishi! Hum Kisise Kum Nahin

2009-09-10T23:14:00.008-05:00

A submission from our friend Doc Bollywood (images and captions from him; editorial snark from Beth):

[Strangest barbell ever. No-resistance training? I don't think that's the equipment Bips and John recommend in their videos. - Ed.]

Is it? Could it be? I think it is... DANCE OFF 70'S SHTYLE!!!!!!!!

I got my own backup band, my nickname is Chintu and I got yet ANOTHER amazing white outfit to do battle with you in, what you got to say now playah?

[The idea of 70s Rishi calling someone "playah" is very pleasing indeed. - Ed.]

I just included this shot for the fabulous brown ALL LEATHER SUIT that Rajesh is sporting.

[Enough about his face - that's one hell of a suit. Also, you're in no position to point fingers, Ms. Red Translucent Checkered Scarf That Might Also Be Attacking Your Head and Also I Can Fit My Entire Body into One of My Pant Legs. - Ed.]

I love this shot of the gun toting goondas coming after our band of misfits. Why? Because they are wearing matching outfits with matching leather vests to boot. Bravo costume designer, bravo.

I swear that Sanjay is wearing more makeup than Kaajal here but that killer scarf makes up for it.

[Well, movie, I say it's time for one more before we close! If you've ever wanted to know how Lawrence Welk would costume qawwali, look no further. - Ed.]

sartorial horror in the Ramsay Brothers' Purana Mandir

2008-11-29T11:35:00.009-06:00

Yes, picking on the fashion in a 1984 horror film is like shooting fish in a barrel. Consider it tit for tat for filmmakers once again punishing the most sexually forward female character with a gruesome death. They wanna play cheap and easy? Fine, can do. We're all lucky I couldn't be bothered to put 1990's Bandh Darwaza back in the DVD player to get screen captures.

This is about the best thing we see our heroines wear, other than a few nice but unnoteworthy salwar suits.

Some general fugitude. I have to say this for the costume department (Sayyed and Mukesh D. Upadhyaya, according to imdb): they are certainly not afraid of trying out hats. This one is less fugly and more curious - she looks like a cigarette girl in a 1920s movie palace.

Why, god, why?

Pink Greek goddess? Leopard print swim skirt ensemble?

Is the extra flap in the front of the skirt a carrying pouch for the hat?

My favorite single outfit was this apron-front romper - yes, it has legs - that Arti Gupta wears for a beachside tryst.

You'd think the Raja's daughter could muster up something better than a fast-food staff uniform.
Mohnish Bahl thoughtfully complements it with his calculator watch (not actually fugly - just funny, 24 years later).

Menswear!

Even the evil corpse-eating, child-killing, rapist monster gets a snazzy embroidered jacket, almost like a prize fighter.

To close, a montage of the costumer's favorite accessory: braids on our heroines' heads, whether thin cords, woven with ribbons into their hair, or looped across their foreheads à la Olivia Newton-John on the cover of Physical.

But who cares, when there's such cute young love!

Kapda Nahin Hai...

2008-10-25T23:10:00.004-05:00

Q:If one isn't wearing clothes, how is it possible, Oh Bloggers of BFug, that you can still declare something fugly?

A: When the lack of clothing perpetuates Uncle Chest. (at 1:20 in the video)

Put some clothes on, Uncle!

Ash as Ostrich

2008-09-25T09:20:00.004-05:00

(via rediff.com)

superhero duds

2008-09-23T13:13:00.006-05:00

Rediff has posted a short photo essay on a few of Bollywood's superhero costumes over the years. Poor Amitabh seems to have gotten the short end of the wardrobe department stick.

Speaking of which, what do readers think about the looks in Drona?

Hot or Not?

2008-07-31T10:03:00.002-05:00

Mallika Sherawat's "dreadlocks" in Ugly Aur Pagly:

Forthcoming Fug

2008-07-23T10:59:00.008-05:00

Fug we can all look forward to...

From God Tussi Great Ho (August, 2008):

From Bachna ae Haseeno (August, 2008):

From C Kkompany* (August, 2008):

*Ekta Kapoor really needs to learn how to spell.

From Money Hain to Honey Hain (July, 2008):

¡Mas Mimoh!

2008-07-03T08:40:00.003-05:00

From Aspi, a little taste of the various Mimohs on display in Jimmy.

More here, if you can bear it.

the gospel of Mimoh

2008-06-29T19:03:00.003-05:00

Beth, the gospel of Mimoh must be spread far and wide.

So spake Aspi, and so it shall be. Mimoh Chakraborty was previously fugged here, and now it's time to check out Jimmy. Based on this video alone, someone pirated the best-left-were-they-were Fanaa scarves and some Salaam-Namaste flap-arms-while-standing-in-the-water dance moves. When various contributors to this blog first discovered this clip, Filmi Holic wondered if Mimoh reminded anyone else of Princess Stephanie of Monaco (yes, a little bit) (from Grace Kelly to Disco Dancer in three easy steps!). Based on Aspi's post on the whole movie, Jimmy looks horrible in countless more ways, so of course I think we should all watch it immediately. Or at least stay tuned for Aspi to send some more screen caps our way for more fugging.

Christmas is coming early this year

2008-06-12T22:00:00.002-05:00

Babita has some seriously fab fashions in 1968's Haseena Maan Jayegi. However the turquoise...I'm sorry, I can't come up with any better term for it, ELF outfit in which she frolics around the trees with Shashi Kapoor is not one of them. Check out the boots!

And the hat! It's coordinated head to toe fug!

I love how she's looking straight at the camera, all but giving the audience a wink of conspiratorial confidence, just like a perfume ad: "He knows he can't resist you...but only we girls know it's really your Santa suit that drives the boys wild."

On a side note, I find the following outfit totally fun rather than fugly, but I just had to put it in because it eerily presaged something one of our readers called Karisma on last year. Like mother

like daughter!

Karzzzz...

2008-06-11T13:14:00.004-05:00

He's ditched the baseball cap, but it's not an improvement. Here are stills from Himesh Reshammiya's forthcoming film, Karzzzz:

(This final still is apparently from an item number titled, ‘Tandoori Nights’. )

Bollywood's best and worst fellas

2008-06-11T10:32:00.002-05:00

Here's the partner to Joules's earlier post on the apparel of the ladies. So funny. And I'm glad to know some people agree with me about how much Ranbir Kapoor looks like his mom.

WITWHT Mahima Chaudhry?

2008-06-09T16:27:00.003-05:00

I'm starting a new feature around here - "What In The World Happened To." Today's Bollywood star - Mahima Chaudhry.

For Fug, fast forward to 2:05 and 3:51:

Dhoom Dadakka: pants optional?

2008-05-29T12:41:00.005-05:00

To be be fair, the first one isn't so bad, and the tall Disco Dancer-esque boots do offer a fair amount of material. But in motion...

Images from the movie's official blog.

This may say more about me than it does about the movie, but I only recognize about half the names in the cast, namely Anupam Kher, Chunky Pandey, Gulshan Grover, Rakhi Sawant, Razzak Khan, and Satish Shah. Those first three are fine, but the last three do not exactly inspire confidence. Ugh.

Bollywood's best and worst divas

2008-05-27T18:15:00.003-05:00

...according to guest author Joules over at Aspi's Drift. Personally, I didn't agree with all the choices, as is the way with subjective things like fashion, but it was still a really fun read with some great zings and even better photographic proof. Good, good times.

The Future of Fug

2008-05-26T13:25:00.007-05:00

Reader Elizabeth M. send us these stills from Love Story 2050.

We really don't know where to begin...

Thoda Pyaar Thoda Magic

2008-05-22T22:53:00.006-05:00

I want to like this movie, if only based on the presence of two of my favorite stars. But behold....

I can't quite put my finger on why I hate Rani's ensemble. Maybe it's just overkill: vest and ruffly shirt and big belt and flouncy skirt and embroidered jacket. Or maybe it's the ho-down/Santa Fe hippie-dippie sort of look that is so out of synch with Saif's metro-fabulous suits. I realize she's out of this world or whatever, but I think there would have been prettier ways to set her off via clothing. Let's hope there are better options elsewhere in the film.

Tell you what, though: I would have loved that skirt and belt for my 7th grade spring dance in 1987.

You can't really see it in the top photo, but if you go to the official site, it looks she's making the face that one plasters on in moments of extreme social duress, trying to look happy but saying through clenched teeth "Saif, I thought we agreed: no more Yash Raj films with saccharine children!" Way more troubling than the clothes.

If you want more, check out Indie Quill's take on Amisha's outfit.

suspendering disbelief

2008-04-08T13:07:00.006-05:00

From its website, I gather the bound-to-be-awesome Tashan has some funny costuming on purpose. Characters in disguise. I dig.

However (and you knew that was coming), what's with Bebo's diagonal suspenders? All the better to hold up her low-rise Daisy Dukes? Isn't low-slung the point?

Innovative!

Alternate title, inspired by the LOLese style of the Tashan website:
Suspenderz: ur doin it wrong.

Do you wanna fedora?

2008-01-20T15:02:00.000-06:00

That the clothes of Partner will end up on this site will come as no surprise, I'm sure. As much as I disliked that all of Salman's shirts had words on them, things really could have been much worse, given that Salman was supposed to be hip and sauve, Govinda a dork, Lara a bit rough and tumble, and Katrina proper.

There's only one chunk of costuming that I found fug-worthy (plus one strange piece, and I'll get to that in a sec). The look that I most disliked, featured in some of the movie's publicity (see below), was mostly confined to the song "You're My Love."

Check it: Salman has a rapper with giant brass knuckles painted on his pants, they stuck Govinda in a scaled-down version (who thinks this photo was photoshopped? He looks the same size as [but less buff than] Salman), and Lara is wearing shiny roman blinds as pants. Everything reeks of a dark corner of Kevin Federline's closet.

(Pictures courtesy of the official site.)

Here's the thing: I assume that these clothes are supposed to be ridiculous. So bravo, costume designers. But I maintain that I can appreciate your aesthetic and its effects - maybe even admire them in a grudging tip of the hat, "touché" sort of way - without actually liking them. So I draw that distinction and throw some more photos into the mix. The guy in the brown, orange, and white ski vest with a white bandanna looped through his jeans particularly caught my attention.

Lara also has a furry white fedora, but I forgot to get a picture.

The other standout was this itty-bitty vest thing. Lara Dutta has never struck me one way or the other in movies, but here I found her quite lovely except when she was stuck in pint-sized bleachy denim.

Update: Ohhhhh! Now I get it - they're trying to be Hard Kaur!

She's even got a vest like Lara's.

the wristband makes the man

2008-01-19T22:16:00.000-06:00

(An email submission from our friends at Post-Punk Cinema Club. Even the P-PCC's and my favorite Shashi Kapoor is not bedecked beyond reproach all the time - I guess being married to a costume designer isn't protection enough.)

Shashi reached all-time lows in Chor Sipahee (1977) (as well as all-time highs, it must be said, it was a very variable Shashi).

First, there was THIS. Agrghhh.

Which naturally provoked this reaction from Vinod.

This one's worse.

And here it just looks like they're both going to laugh.

Not. Remotely. Fugly.

2008-01-14T13:13:00.000-06:00

So a regular reader of this blog told me yesterday that she was sad that we had so reduced our postings; the word "pitiful" was used. So today I went looking online for some new, egregious fugliness, and was brought almost to tears by one of the most bee-yoo-ti-ful things I have ever seen. (I should mention I have been sadly disconnected from Bollywood news of late, so this may be common knowledge to everyone else.)

THIS should serve as the example of perfection against which all fugliness is condemned. The upcoming film is Jodhaa Akbar, and it totally feeds my addiction for period costume.

I always prefer when Ms. Rai-Bachchan wears as little makeup as possible.
It makes her look like a Serious Actress.

Tears came to my eyes on seeing this one of Hrithik...

Movie Website: http://www.jodhaaakbar.com/. Has loads of yummy pictures and posters!

Happy blue year!

2008-01-02T16:02:00.000-06:00

(Thanks to Bollywhat forums for the picture.)

OMG. WTF, AB2.0?

2007-11-28T15:17:00.000-06:00

Abhi baby, you may be BFug's favorite, the one for whom our collective heart goes pitter-patter, but if SRK can't get away with smudged, oddly-sleeved, serially-ripped t-shirts, then neither can you.

(Photo from Filmikhabar, apparently originally from desifans.com. Thanks to filmigeek for the find!)

We'll just see about that.

2007-10-29T20:22:00.000-05:00

Reuters has a story on Bollywood fashion.

Bollywood fashion has become a lot less garish and more sophisticated these days, but designers say it still lacks its own unique style.... Outrageous outfits are out....

Oh ye of little faith.

2007-10-18T15:34:00.000-05:00

Rediff.com is asking readers: "Who's the worst-dressed actress in Bollywood?"

Currently, Mallika Sherawat has taken 27% of the vote. B-Fugly favorite Amisha Patel is not far behind with 19% of the vote. TMBWITW is at 13%.

Thoughts?

the 80s were kind to no one

2007-10-15T23:14:00.001-05:00

that don't impress me much

2007-10-14T20:40:00.000-05:00

From Biwi No. 1 (1999)....

Sushmita!

Shania!

Sushmita!

Shania!

(Thanks to Everything Shania for the pictures.)

Preity Princess

2007-09-30T20:15:00.000-05:00

I liked Jaan-e-Mann, but some of Preity's clothes need our attention.

What era is this supposed to be evoking? It's a flashback to the character's college days, so if we assume they're 30ish, that would put us at the mid- to late-1990s. The gothic font trucker cap and princess lingo say 2002, but the torn jeans are more 1993 and the stacks of plastic bracelets remind me of 1984. And the hair beads? No clue.

Whatever the era, the look is clearly, you know, bad-ass. Maybe the whole thing is supposed to be mockable. It definitely is when Anupam wears it.

Also, the white shoes make me itch, even if she is just an extra with a scrunchie.

(all photos from Jaan-e-Mann, 2006)

Bollywood Man-Nipple - Part 2: When Bad Nipples Happen to Good People

2007-09-27T12:34:00.000-05:00

Shahrukh, we need to talk. Again.

Ignoring the India FM insignia across your chest, there are a few problems. I'm going to ask this straight-up. Please put a shirt on.

I'm not going to lie, SRK, we've had nipple issues with you before. There's your penchant for wearing transparent shirts, a proclivity that is widely documented in the films of Karan Johar.

But this.

This is a problem.

I do have to admit that I like the construction worker motif. There are certain professions that are more attractive than others. Some are drawn to pilots and military men, because who doesn't love a guy in uniform? Others like artists and actors, who are more creative. Quite frankly, a construction worker is sexy because you know that he's got to be good with his hands. And I like the hair, too. In fact, I like everything that's going on above the neck and below the waist.

But.

Your man-nipples.

Shahrukh, let's not mince words. You're an attractive guy, but you're over forty. And I don't know what the heck you have done to yourself to make your arm-veins pop out like a blood donor's dream. To top it off, you are not oozing sex appeal, as may have been the goal in this photo shoot. You are just plain oozing. I do not know what you are oozing, but that is gross. And it is oozing all over your normally lovely man-nipples. (And we know they're lovely, because we've seen Dil Se).

I know you're catching a lot of flak for this (see Beth's earlier post), and I know it's all in the name of movie promotion, but Shahrukh, please - do us all a favor. Put those man-nipples away.

OMG. WTF, SRK? round 2

2007-09-19T15:47:00.000-05:00

Leaving the abs aside for a minute - because they are frightening and wrong - take a closer look at his jeans. (You officially have permission to stare at his crotch.)

I've never seen jeans like that. They look a little uncomfortable. Anyone want to offer a guess as to what the extra patch is for?

King Khan is also the current King of Bollywood Fugly, topping our index with 11 entries. Woot!

Bobby... Again

2007-09-17T14:46:00.000-05:00

From Nanhe Jaisalmer.

Pony-hawk? (click to enlarge)

Jeans with applique? (click to enlarge)

literary fug

2007-09-06T22:55:00.000-05:00

There's something about this shirt/tie combo that reminds me of 1980s American mall staple Chess King (maybe Shahrukh chose his ensemble from a store that had a word in its title in common with the book du jour).

Photos courtesy of IndiaGlitz.

Granted the bottom picture also has a very unfortunate facial expression, maybe caught mid-sentence and mid-head turn to look at a different photographer, but the shirt is really annoying for having such basic components. It's like a really bland but still bad twist on the Don: The Chase Begins Again shirt-and-tie-from-same-fabric look, but just the collar and tie this time.

So in conclusion: book good, shirt and tie bad.

Also: real book collection or fake-pretend library?

SRK and His T-Shirt Collection

2007-08-29T10:56:00.000-05:00

Beth's awesome post reminded me of SRK's hideous outfits in "Kaal Dhamaal" (Kaal, 2005).

Is that a red tank top with a sword cut out on his chest at 4:44?!?!?

OMG. WTF, SRK?

2007-08-28T22:37:00.000-05:00

Soooo, Shahrukh.... Can I have a word?

Going for the "aspiring glam rocker got in a fight in an alley with a backup dancer from an off-off-Broadway production of Fame" look, are we?

Can we go over the elements of your outfit? I'm a little confused as to what you and K Jo were thinking when you got dressed today. Let's see, here we have:
- post-something glow to the skin
- cheeks/jaw done with contouring makeup
- perfect hair
- eyebrows just so (yet not in full-on ~ mode)
- dirty bandages on the arms (unless those are what people are calling "sleeves" these days)
- artfully slashed, dirty outer shirt that somehow seems to be the same piece of fabric as the inner shirt (look at his left shoulder, how it seems to be the same at the big circle on his chest) - or maybe the right shoulder is a different piece of fabric, even though it's the same color as the left shoulder. Is this a Möbius strip hoodie? My head hurts.

I really wish you had shown your trousers, too. Are they shorts, with your legs done up like your arms?

Many, many thanks to Filmi Geek to passing this on. She found in on eBay, natch.

Fugly or Fashionable?

2007-08-27T08:47:00.000-05:00

Just stumbled across this website for fair-trade, eco-friendly, women-made products called Global Girlfriend, and found this:

Bollywood Cosmetic Case ~ Silver Trim $18.00

Fugly or Fashionable, I want one!

Bollywood Man-Nipple - Part 1: The Good, the Bad, and the Fugly

2007-08-23T17:26:00.000-05:00

God help you if you ever google the phrase "Bollywood man-nipple." Of course, the first site to appear is this one, but aside from that I cannot be responsible for whatever atrocities you may witness.

Because of this obvious deficiency in search engines, I have researched far and wide to find the most fugly examples of homo sapiens' most useless appendage - the man-nipple, otherwise known in Latin as the vir papilla. (As an aside, vir specifically refers to males, as opposed to mankind in general that homo implies... modern meaning aside.) My interest particularly pertains to the subgenus Bollywoodus vir papilla, more commonly called the "Bollywood man-nipple" (as previously mentioned).

Firstly, I would like to say that there is such a thing as good Bollywood man-nipple. Good man-nipple occurs when an attractive Bollywood actor, hereafter referred to "John Abraham," appears completely topless - no need for cloth to obscure a solid chest, am I right or am I right? Good man-nipple also occurs when aforementioned "John Abraham" is wearing a button-up shirt that is buttoned incompletely. However, good man-nipple can be easily or suddenly changed to bad man-nipple if "John Abraham" appears wearing a mesh shirt, strange make-up, or any other fashion atrocity. And then, of course, there is the "fugly man-nipple," which is a category that completely defies definition. To illustrate:

Good man-nipple

Yes, please.

Bad man-nipple

Good nipple... bad underpants.

Fugly man-nipple

He seems less appetizing in this get-up, but I suddenly crave a salad.

Please stay tuned for Bollywood Man-Nipple - Part 2: When Bad Nipples Happen to Good People.

Midweek Fun: Aamir in Drag

2007-08-15T10:31:00.001-05:00

Have fun!

Monster fug!

2007-08-03T21:00:00.000-05:00

I just finished "watching" the 1990 horror flick Bandh Darwaza. I use the term "watching" loosely, as what I was doing could more accurately be described as "rolling on the floor laughing my heiney off." I was going to write a post about it in my own blog, but I figure this is a good candidate for one of Steve's lengthy write-ups.

There's not much to this film besides being your basic creature feature, focusing on the terror wrought by a vampire. This vampire stands out in that he has his own "cult" worshipping him. Apparently his groupies have more in common than just a
misguided sense of religion (don't pray to a guy whose main weaknesses are daylight and water, yo). They also unite because of their bad fashion sense:

From left to right: S&M guy, Kimono guy, and Tiger girl. None of them gets a costume change.

But I guess this is par for the course, considering their fearless leader, Aruna Irani:

Even if these people aren't vampires themselves, their clothes are pretty monstrous.

ETA: Close-up of S&M guy's lederhosen for Maja. You can't take your eyes off him, can you? Or his facial hair, at least.

Love the nipple, dude. Love the nipple.

Your chance to dress a Bollywood star!

2007-08-01T13:59:00.000-05:00

...the mini Khan project!

Seriously, the man needs some new clothes. He can't walk around in the "Pretty Woman" cargo pants forever.

Preview the FUG: Cash

2007-07-31T12:44:00.000-05:00

I guess the designer had a healthy budget for belts.

Do you love fugly? So do I!

2007-07-16T12:17:00.001-05:00

The talented Karisma Kapoor in yet more inexplicable clothes (and hair - that is some big hair).

(Papi Gudia, 1996, from our friend Army of Monkeys)

What's next? The Farrah*?

2007-07-15T11:03:00.000-05:00

Check out my friend Scribe Bollywood's post on SRK's hair. Good lord.

* Fawcett, that is.

Govinda AND Salman

2007-07-06T09:41:00.000-05:00

From Partner, apparently "inspired" by Will Smith-flick Hitch.

Maybe he too was born a poor black child....

2007-06-17T21:51:00.000-05:00

Aha!

(Jhoom Barabar Jhoom 2007 and The Jerk 1979)

Does anyone else think Steve Martin would be very enjoyable in a Bollywood movie?

Awesome or awful? Do Anjaane

2007-06-10T11:54:00.000-05:00

It's a fine line, really, especially when you're looking at the 1970s.

This finery brought to you by an entire costume and wardrobe department: Bhanu Athaiya (who according to imdb is the first Indian to win an Oscar - for costume design in Gandhi - and was also involved in Lagaan and Swades, among many others) , Shankar Jadhav, Vasant Mahajan, and Mani Rabadi.

Also, take a close look at these sunglasses.

Neat, huh? Prem Chopra and the Big B in 1976? Or Aishwarya and Baby B in 2007? Who can tell?!?

Shivaji: the Fug

2007-06-01T14:13:00.000-05:00

Try as hard as you can to make it past the guys in the tiger-face shirts. And the blackface. It's worth it.

Salaam-e-Fug

2007-05-25T22:26:00.001-05:00

Okay, not really; the movie had little to fug - its problems were elsewhere - but you can't have a cast of three zillion without some missteps.

On the up side, Akshaye wears a jaunty shirt with butterflies on it.

On the down side, he also wears this ugly denim marching band jacket:

See the embellishments on the sleeve?

They're so evil that they're taking over his arm in a self-destructive rage and making him choke himself!

But that is nothing compared to Anil Kapoor, who of course is supposed to look ridiculous here - and well done!

I think here he might be trying to communicate that even though he looks like an idiot, at least he isn't pulling a Himesh Reshammiya like every other man in this shot.

So Much FUG!

2007-05-25T10:27:00.000-05:00

As I've said before, we aim to please. Maya, this post is for you.

From Jhoom Barabar Jhoom (click to enlarge):

Even more on the Yash Raj Films website.

(Pretty) Girls Gone Fugly

2007-05-18T13:58:00.001-05:00

We admit, it's difficult to fug Mrs. Bachchan 2.0.

However, Ash wasn't always Ms. Pretty-Perfect.

A look back at her debut film, Jeans...

India to Europe: "Anything you can do, we can do better."

2007-05-18T11:04:00.000-05:00

Alternate title: "So you think you can fug?"
Alternate title 2, inspired by having spent the last few days with an Australian friend: "That's not a fug. This is a fug."

Okay. Probaby most of you who read this site have at least occasionally visited our mission-statement mothership, Go Fug Yourself. But even if you're not a daily visitor like I am, it is absolutely imperative that you do not miss GFY's post on the madness that is the Eurovision Song Contest. The post is as funny as usual, and the finer points of sartorial ridiculousness are indeed ridiculous, such as the Ukranian entry.

But I can't help but think "if you think that's bad, just you get a load of this here!" If European designers of costumes for staged musical numbers propose those as eye-catching, and the people who fug them find them fuggable, then they've got another thing coming.

I've been flipping through the Eurovision website for awhile, and everything I see, even when taken all together, is just a drop in the bucket that we here at Bollywood Fugly - and all fans of popular Indian cinema everywhere - swim in every day. We'll see your feathered headdress and raise you feathers lining all the major seams of an outfit. We'll see your black knee socks coupled with a gold glitter jackets and riase you some pastel pink capes and baby blue leotards all the while singing about a major deity.

GFY, if you do ever wander over this way, may I recommend this as a starting point, with the introductory guidance that all of those pictures are from just one movie with just one person listed under "costume design"?

Aap Kaa Surroor: The Moviee: The Real Luv Story (or Numerologists Gone Mad)

2007-05-16T12:52:00.000-05:00

No, the title of this post isn't full of typos. That is the actual English-language title of Himesh Reshammiya's debut Bollywood film.

Apparently, Himesh wears a baseball cap throughout the entire film.

What's he hiding under there?

The 2007 Zee Cine Awards fugshion

2007-05-15T10:24:00.000-05:00

I haven't had time to watch the entire show yet (it's like, 150 hours long), but there's plenty of fug material even in the first hour or so. I've been googling like crazy to find some larger pictures than the ones I have, but I haven't had much luck, so my tiny screencaps will have to do for now.

Where do I even start? With the backing dancers' ridiculous monster-sleeves? Or how about Kashmira Shah's leather trousers with that strategically placed white patch? (And this isn't the first appearance of these Pants Of Horror, either - she wore them during the end credits of My Bollywood Bride as well. Oh, how we cringed.)

The backing dancers didn't fare any better during Priyanka's number:

More midriff-baring yeti jackets - check.
Wasp-patterned stockings - check.
Woolly hat - check.
Short yellow tie to bring the whole outfit together - check. But also, we need bright yellow binman-type trousers for the male dancers. With a few ribbons hanging off, if possible.

... I don't even understand what Priyanka is wearing here.

Everything's comin' up daisies!

2007-05-07T22:18:00.000-05:00

1992's Jigar is godawful, but given the year and that it stars Karisma Kapoor, you know there's going to be at least one gem for this site. Mucho credit to Aparna for pointing out the gem, a very special sari.

I don't want to ruin things for anyone who wants to see this movie - which you absolutely shouldn't do, by the way - but we do need a smidge of background. Ajay needs to train really, really hard at a special martial arts country house training camp thingy so he can take revenge on the guy with a Billy Ray Cyrus-worthy mullet.

Here's Ajay, meditating near a statue of Buddha.

Karisma has been sent by the sensei to unleash her lust for him to test his concentration. She shows up - as you do - in an orange sari bedecked with plastic daisies, wearing it so high that it looks like a flouncy miniskirt.

How could you not look?

Aside: for once the costume and wardrobe department is named in imdb, and it includes Digamber Rajapurkar, who was involved with Baadshah and Main Khiladi Tu Anari, both of which have made their appearance on this site. Hat trick!

Wow.

2007-04-27T09:40:00.000-05:00

While surfing the web for fugly photographs of Tanisha, I came across clips from Manmohan Desai's Dharam Veer. (Read a full plot summary [with spoilers] here.)

I am not sure if I like Jeetu's ruffles or Zeenat's purple cape better.

Enjoy... and remember there are EVEN MORE on YouTube!

Happy Friday!

Shakalaka Boom Boom... Again

2007-04-26T11:15:00.000-05:00

On Filmiholic's blog review of Shakalaka Boom Boom, 'Joseph Gonsalves' writes: "Everyone’s costumes look like they’ve been sourced from a bargain basement sale at Pimps-For-Less."

This post is for you, 'Joseph.'

Did the costume designer score some sort of "buy-one-get-one" deal with the Don team?

We seemed to like Ash's cornrows. What do we think about Bobby's?

I'd Love to Eighty-Six the leg warmers....

2007-04-18T19:25:00.000-05:00

Word on the street is that Bollywood Fugly is being beckoned. Last week I watched the early Govinda masterpiece Love 86. The clothes are actually not that bad, given that the year is...well, 1986, but I think there a few things worth sharing, and even if they aren't fugly, they're a good time, and who couldn't use a little of that right now? Plus Pooja asked me to, and who am I to say no to her?

some 80s goodness

Govinda in a Footloose shirt

a criminal making the awesome career move of wearing a jacket with his name on it

the heroines in their Holi finest

But the best part of the whole movie is the song in Govinda's first scene, sort of a Michael Jackson/West Side Story hybrid...

...unless it's the title song, with its leg warmers and Govinda in a white vest with black studded arm bands. And love-making robots.

Hands off!

2007-04-06T17:51:00.000-05:00

Which is better: the Miss Kitty-style dresses on Japanese nightclub dancers in a 1966 Indian movie...

or that the dresses are emblazoned with skin-color-ish handprints?

(Love in Tokyo, 1966)

Holy Flying Tubes of Fairness Cream!

2007-04-05T17:44:00.000-05:00

No matter how ridiculous a song's lyrics, Madhuri Dixit brings such grace and poise to every choreographed move. She is one hell of a dancer.

As for Salman's pseudo-bharatanatyam moves... Oy!

But where was I? Ah yes, fugging.

Salman is too easy to fug. His fashion disasters are ALL over this song. Madhuri looks just fine in a traditional lengha and angrakha but her high-waisted pants, gold body suit, and checkered jacket (fast-forward to 4:10), well... it's all very unfortunate.

And of course, where would Bollywood Fugly be without the backup dancers? Lamé seems to be a fabric of choice.

Keh Do Na, Keh Do Na, You Are My...

2007-03-29T16:23:00.000-05:00

~~Soniya~~ Liberace ?!?!?!!!!?!

Bollywood favorite bhangra boy and swooner-crooner, Sonu Nigam:

I'm too sexy for this shirt, too sexy for this shirt, so sexy it hurts...

This is why playback singers don't get any screen time, y'all. Stay off camera with that H.A.M.!
Thanks for the tip, Vij! He is Brown Liberace, to go with previously posted Brown Fabio.

Bollywood Fabio? [Updated!]

2007-03-28T14:30:00.000-05:00

I am not sure whether this is a still from the film, but IF this is from the movie, THEN I issue the following fug!

This is a photo of Mithun Chakraborty's son, Mimoh; his first film He will be released soon.

Bollywood Fugly blogger Beth asks, "Why so shiny?" t-hype wonders if he always looks like Fabio.

Your thoughts, dear audience?

3/29/07 Update: I should have Googled a bit more before posting.

Tank tops, acid-washed jeans, and big belt buckles seem to be his specialty.

Fugly Prediction

2007-03-26T13:17:00.000-05:00

The India Times is reporting that Govinda and Karisma Kapoor are slated to team up for a reunion pic with David Dhawan...

...which should provide this blog with enough material for a month.

Bollywood Fugly lesson #7: never say unfuggable

2007-03-22T22:39:00.000-05:00

I really thought Sharmilee (1971), starring my new favorite person Shashi Kapoor and Rakhee (and Rakhee, and also a guy named Tiger) was unfuggable. It's 1971 and the pants are a little pegged, the hair big, the eyeliner magnificent, and the jumpsuits jumpin', but all in the most glorious possible way. I would truly hold my head high in any of Rakhee's zillion outfits (or to be seen arm-in-arm with Shashi in his).

But then, more than two hours into the 2:45 running time, the item girl gets her turn. She's no Helen, as Filmi Geek pointed out, but she does not offend particularly. But then she's joined on stage by who I think supposed to be some sort of circus strong man character, and...well, let me just show you.

He's got it all: ninja-y headband, polkadot belt, tight shorts, and white Beatle boots and socks. The first three are explicable, if we can buy that there's a circus strong man character in an item number in a villain lair in the Himalayas - and of course we can, or else we wouldn't be watching these things - but everyone knows strong men wear mid-calf black lace-up Victoriany looking boots. Beatle boots? Now that's ridiculous.

Zorro Wuz Here

2007-03-21T12:33:00.000-05:00

I guess Kareena is a big fan of the "slashed-midriff" look.

From her item number in the forthcoming film, Kya Love Story Hai:

respect your elders, Kapoor-ishtyle

2007-03-16T23:49:00.000-05:00

Doosra Aadmi (1977) features not one but two of the Kapoor dynasty princes, Rishi and Shashi (son and brother of Raj, respectively, for those who have not mapped out the Kapoor family tree), as well as Rishi's princess Neetu Singh.* I know this blog isn't for fashion dos, but I cannot resisting contrasting the male stars, who demonstrate why, in some cultures, age, with its wisdom from experience, is so venerated. For the most part, the clothes in this movie are unfuggable (and maybe even tied to plot and chacater development, but more on that in my regular blog); they are 1977 in the good way, and even our hero Rishi gets normal-looking suits that elicit no comment. But then about halfway in, while taking a drive in the country, a most mysterious phenomenon occurs: Rishi somehow manages to look simultaneously like John Belushi, Woody Allen, and Harry Potter.**

It's worse from the side.

Then just a few moments later, in the very same scene, he manages to channel 70s poster boy freshly-scrubbed cheeriness, with his dreamy stares and jaunty scarf...

until he holds his arms up too high for his cropped jacket and gives us a little muffin top.

Most of us would have muffin tops in a jacket and pants like that, which is why we here at Bollywood Fugly work so tirelessly to point out to costume designers how careful they must be.

On the bright side, however, we have the older and wiser Shashi (and my new FPMBF runner-up, by the way) showing us that a tank top, dress shirt, and leather jacket can be very successfully coordinated with just the right scarf (especially in the classic three-quarter turn, outstretched arms, coming-out-of-a-spin pose)

and that, depending on the uncle in question, maybe a little "uncle chest" can be a good thing.

Damn.

* The women in this movie got great clothes and generally looked 1970s classy, so I don't include them here.

** There are a lot of really big sunglasses in this movie, and generally speaking I like them, because they're 1) fun and 2) appropriate for the feeling and era of the movie. I'll be posting many more images of sunglasses and scarves in my write-up later this weekend.

Oh Bobby!

2007-03-06T10:24:00.000-06:00

Today's Rediff.com entertainment slideshow highlights Yash Raj Films' 2007 releases. (I can't wait for Aaja Nachle.)

Unfortunately, here's another shot from Jhoom Barbara Jhoom, featuring easy-to-fug Bobby Deol:

Burn My Eyes, Upendra

2007-03-02T12:51:00.000-06:00

Bengali superstar Upendra has apparently discovered a shade of pink even hotter than hot pink.

But as bad as that may be, it's the outfit into which he changes that really makes this one a classic. The women in the clip fare all right, but between Upendra's sizzling hot pink outfit, his black and yellow checkered suit stolen from the closet of Corey Feldman, and the male backup dancers mauve blazers, yellow shirts, and fire engine red ties and pants (to say nothing of the yellow-pink-turquoise ensembles) -- well, guys, I'm havin' to call fugly on this one. Your clothes do not have to match the test strip from a color printer.

Not Exactly Fashion, But Certainly Fun!

2007-02-28T10:56:00.000-06:00

recovering baptist just brought this fantabulous site to my attention - you can subtitle snippets from Bollywood films!

http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/index.php?module=see&lang=uk&code=8e08b7defe1fc0d0338ead2bc73a6ebb

Worst-Dressed at 2007 Filmfares?

2007-02-27T12:36:00.000-06:00

At Ugly, Ugly, Bollywood Fugly Fugly, we often don't document celebrities "in the wild," but this past weekend's Filmfare Awards gives us a few gems we just can't pass up:

And again, what's with the unfortunate costumes on the backup talent?

I really do like Kajol...

2007-02-23T15:09:00.000-06:00

... but it seems the mid-90s weren't too good to her.

Hulchul (1995)

Karan Arjun (1995)

Ishq (1997)

(Yes, I know there's lots of fugly in this song including, but not limited to, Juhi's mini-skirt and pumps, Aamir's high-waisted jeans, and the worst dance moves ever.)

Too good to let pass.

2007-02-22T09:01:00.000-06:00

I have no idea what film it is from. And I am dying to know.

My heartfelt thankyous go out to Kaddele from Missionbas.de for finding it.

Another great actor gone fugly...

2007-02-21T22:52:00.000-06:00

[Click any fugly photo to enlarge.]
I realize Indian came out in 1996, but I doubt these looks were completely acceptable even then. Kamal Hassan is a fabulous actor but he isn't exactly known for his dancing. So you can only imagine what these outfits looked like in motion. People ought not dress good actors so poorly.

Before we examine the abuse heaped upon Kamal, I would like some sort of explanation as to why these backup dancers look like Cats meets Miami Ink...

ENTER: Our Hero. Count Dracula anyone? Yes, this outfit comes complete with spooky dance moves.

All I can say to that is, "BOO."

But then there's grandma's flowered shirt impeccably bow-tied at the waist to show off Milli Vanilli biker shorts complete with "Buh-buh-buh-buh-baby, don't forget my number" moves.

Yes, Kamal, we here at Bollywood Fugly are just as perplexed as you are about your co-star 's clip-on braided ponytail and the fur balls she's wearing as part of her bustier. No, those glasses aren't prescription...

Still, that's far less interesting than your grand finale--a space suit complete with space-ready canine and electrifying dance moves.

[I think this was an attempt at "doing the robot" but they ended up with the "Tequilla" instead.]

source material

2007-02-20T22:02:00.000-06:00

Maybe this is where Shilpa gets her animal prints?

(Do aur Do Paanch, 1980)

In This Corner: The Big B

2007-02-19T09:50:00.000-06:00

One of my absolute favorites, Amar Akbar Anthony has the sheer exuberance that has always typified the best Bollywood films. Fantastic, charming, ridiculous and altogether hilarious, it will always be in my top ten Bollywood films.

That said... have you SEEN Amitabh's wardrobe in this film? Two Words: Lea. Ther.

First we see Anthony in his bar dealing with a tough customer. Just the jacket, folks; no shirt required! Note the crucifix.

Next, we have his concert-going attire... again, leather jacket, no shirt. And the crucifix has changed to an Egyptian ankh. Why? No idea.

Finally, we have his shopping ensemble. When shopping with your fiancee for her wedding dress, no shirt required!

Sunday quiz

2007-02-18T08:28:00.000-06:00

Name the cockatoo on the right. Shouldn´t be to difficult.

Need a hint? Tsts. Its from Jamai Raja.

Rise to the occasion

2007-02-16T13:20:00.000-06:00

I was looking for a special occation to reveal to you, treasured readship, a sparkling jewel in the annals of this award nominated (Whooohooo!) blog. And found that every day is a special day if you stumble upon fuglyness like I did watching DAUD:

Naah, that is no way to tuck your shirt in if you meet the heroine, but it is not that fugly if you compare it to....

THIS. Now this is what we call fugly. I am so very sorry that there seems to be no clip of it on youtube. There is this Yodeling part in the bridge of the song (tum mein hal dum) you need to hear to get the full impact.

Well, at least it is a way to reduce the budget for plastic surgery. (btw. the black Latex-clad dominatrix in the middle is Urmila Matondkar)

Oh, and can anybody tell me what´s with the giant cockroach in the back?

They're not laughing with you...

2007-02-16T10:36:00.000-06:00

Oh dear, where do I even begin with this... Are we allowed to fug sets as well as costumes? Because if we can, I think the Taj Ma-Phallus stage for this show is hysterical.

But that's just the jump-off!

Who is that masked man? Is it Optimus Prime?

Is it Voltron, Defender of the Universe? Is it an anime villain?

Oh hell, it's MUCH worse!! It's Salman Khan dancing~ aaaaaahhhhhhh!

Sallu dear, they're not laughing with you, they really truly are laughing at you. Just look at the expressions on the audience's face-- they're horrified! Though, in your defense, it may be because the back-up dancers pulled the "one-leg-up-dog-peeing-on-fire-hydrant-then-hump-the-floor" move. Dude, that is SO last year's pageant circuit.

It only gets worse from there. Don't believe me? Forward to 6:50 for the "Madonna Move" [thanks Amir!] *not suggested viewing if you plan on eating in the next 20-30 minutes. Protective eyewear also recommended.

Shilpa Called and She'd Like Her Other Sari Back

2007-02-14T21:09:00.000-06:00

After Ms. Shetty having been raked over the coals recently for her choice of not-so-purrrfect, leopard-inspired sari, it was a surprise to see the style maven Mrs. Malaika Arora 'Chayya Chayya' Khan appear tonight as one of the celebrity guests on SRK's special Valentine's Day episode of Kaun Banega Crorepati, in a very similar schmatte, though this one veering more toward tiger stripes.

Karan Johar Drinking Game: Valentine's Day Special

2007-02-13T15:37:00.000-06:00

Some of us love K-Jo. Some of us hate K-Jo. Some of us really hate K-Jo.

Whatever your feelings about the young writer/film maker, we know you will ALL appreciate Bollywood Fugly's Karan Johar Drinking Game: Valentine's Day Special (TM).

So, pop your copy of KKHH, K3G, KHNH, or KANK into the DVD player, grab a bottle or two (or three) of your favorite potent potable, and...

Take a sip when:
... Shah Rukh Khan stammers.
... you spot a geographic inaccuracy.
... Amitabh mentions "family" or "tradition" (or any Hindi synonyms).
... any of the lead actresses does a hair swish.
... any character makes a reference to "phela pyar" (first love).
... tears appear in the eyes of the leads.
... any self-referential movie music theme plays.

Take two sips when:
... any character makes a reference to the dichotomy between "east" and "west."*
... Shah Rukh Khan's eyebrows turn into a tilde (~) during an emotional scene.
... you see a bevy of tall, skinny blonde girls as backup dancers.
... a small child is referred to by an awful nickname (Laddoo, Fattoo, Sweetoo, Chunky, Twinky, Rinky, Minky, Poo).
... any character makes a reference to homosexuality or "The Gay".

Take a shot when:
... Shah Rukh Khan wears a gauzy, chiffon shirt. (Double shot for every nipple sighting.)
... the lead actresses partake in Karva Chauth rituals.
... the lead actresses wear bizarre garments unsuitable to activity or weather, i.e. silver padded vest or micro-mini at university.
... the lead actor plays a musical instrument without the benefit of appropriate sound equipment.

Down half your bottle during:
... any 500-extra dance extravaganza.
... a singing of the Indian national anthem, or similar displays of nationalism.*

Finish the darn bottle when:
... you spot the tricolor, especially on clothing.

* Rule also applies when playing Bollywood Fugly's Subash Ghai Drinking Game (TM).

Put your own "rules" in the comments! And happy Valentine's Day!

Alpha Amitabh

2007-02-13T14:19:00.000-06:00

The Colbert Report continues its Bollywood affection for Amitabh Bachchan, by naming him the Alpha Dog of the Week! Although the turban Stephen dons isn't correct...

Arrrg!

2007-02-13T12:36:00.000-06:00

OK, now, Sunny... your hairline is not receding yet, so far as I know. So there's no need for such sartorial attempts to hide your hair.

What, then, could be the impulse behind this do-rag? Is it a misguided effort to jump on board the popular Pirates of the Caribbean?

"Sunny, if we're going to be paired in a movie, I insist that you wear a bandanna. I want to pretend you're Johnny Depp."

Kajol, Kajol, Kajol.

2007-02-09T14:07:00.000-06:00

OK, so we all didn't agree on Kajol here.

Where do we all stand on this fashion disaster, also from Yeh Dillagi?

Well, it was 1989 - what did you expect?

2007-02-05T21:54:00.000-06:00

I definitely wanted jeans like this in junior high - I don't recall what this particular button-way-up-then-fold-over waist style is called, but I certainly remember pale blue acid wash - and if I had bold enough, meek high school freshman that I was, I probably would have tied a sheer scarf through the belt loops when I was feeling extra sassy.

(Maine Pyar Kiya, 1989)

Doesn't the not-our-heroine girl remind you of Jennifer Grey? Nobody puts Seema in a corner!

I'd also like to point out that Salman's shirt collar accoutrements. I've never seen anything like this piece of man jewelry before, and I've done my share of country line dancing. What are those, exactly? Weights to keep his collar from flying up (as it will do in later wind-swept songs)?

Presenting Captain Uncle Chest to the rescue!

Now that's a fashion do!

2007-02-02T19:39:00.000-06:00

A piece of apparel saves Amitabh Bachchan's life. You can't make this stuff up.

Thanks to Army of Monkeys for the tip.

The Might of Mithun

2007-02-02T15:43:00.000-06:00

Picking on Mithun's outfits in pretty much any of his films is pretty easy, but then, some things simply demand that they be done. Case in point:

OK, we're a bit pulled back for this shot, but you need to be so in order to take in the whole picture. Obviously, the first thing that catches the eye would be the banana yellow pipecleaner pants that are so tight even Joey Ramone would be uncomfortable in them. And who wears a scarf with a t-shirt? I mean besides, apparently, 80% of Bollywood?

Unfortunately, the video is of poor quality so you can't really make it out, but his shirt says "Super Disco" in sparkly letters.

Now, compare his Dick Tracy primary colored outfit to Sridevi's outfit from the same scene:

Hers is a timeless classic, I think we can all agree.

The lesson to be learned here, however, is simple: if it's warm enough to wear a t-shirt, it's warm enough not to wear a scarf. If it's warm enough for Sridevi to take a bath outside, it's warm enough not to wear a scarf.

Obligatory Shilpa Shetty Post

2007-02-01T14:01:00.000-06:00

I've been scouring the web for fugly photographs of Big Brother winner Shilpa Shetty.

My digging has, so far, unearthed...

From Baazigar:

From Chor Machaaye Shor:

Feel free to post more links in the comments of this post, especially if you can find something more heinous than Shilpa's Union Jack "bib" and elbow warmers.

Why Waqt?!

2007-01-31T10:24:00.000-06:00

Thank you Samta! One of our readers just sent an email that's more fun than Christmas...

We're not actually sure what film the first photo is from, but we're quite sure that it is from a film because there's no other explanation as to why Karisma and Salman are standing in this position while so poorly dressed.

Then there's poor Akshay who obviously angered both the costume designer and promotional photographer while filming Waqt. (Personally, I don't think his boobs are real.)

[No, desidancer, I don't think he's wearing a dickie. It's clearly a bodysuit.]

Bollywood Bloggers! Let´s meet. In Vienna

2007-01-29T16:00:00.000-06:00

The mistress of this blog gave me the ok to hijack our very fulgy home to crosspost something from my blog:

Michael, Beth and I have come up with this cool idea.

There will be the first Pan-European/International-Bollywoodblogger-Meeting in Vienna (that would be Vienna, Austria) on Saturday March 10th. And you´re all invited.

Kyun? Because we can. And because Beth will be visiting Vienna then. And since that is a very special occation and calls for a celebration anyway and since Michael invited himself too, we thought, hey, why not meet all of us?

We don´t have an agenda yet. But what we have is ek pura din, the whole saturday. And that means we will talk, eat, drink, watch (a) movie(s) and party. Plainly speaking a bunch of nice people with a vast interest in indian cinema (yes, it´s not BW-exclusive) will meet a bunch of nice people with a vast interest in indian cinema. Sounds fun, hai-naa?

So far I already have ~~almost~~ definite consents from some very cool
people and I hope you will have time to show up too!

Head over to my blog or to www.bollywoodbloggers.com for updates. The
next few days should bring more info about program, participating BW
bloggers and accommodation. And if you have any questions or suggestions you want to propose on the sly, feel free to email me at babasko [at] gmail [dot] com

UPDATE 1/31/2007: Yaaahooooo! Great feedback and already an impressive (if a bit heavy on the germanspeaking side) line-up. Beth. Michael. Marco. Maini. Oliver. Kaddele. Maria. Birgit. Maja and "my" complete Viennese BW gang.
ad Accommodation: If you´re short on funds. Don´t worry. As long as you make it to Vienna, we´ve got a couple of sofas for you (Not that there´s going to be much time for sleep)

Update 2/3/2007: New post about suggested meeting program. Here.
Update 2/11/2007: New post with first draft of the days schedule. Here

More Kajol

2007-01-23T15:47:00.000-06:00

We aim to please here at Bollywood Fugly.

This is supposed be a "seduction sequence"... but how many people do you know who are turned on by a royal blue, sparkly mini-dress with accompanying sheer shrug-like garment?

Fake News Story, part 3

2007-01-21T13:59:00.000-06:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, it has happened again - another late night comedy show with fake news has done a Bollywood story! Last night on Saturday Night Live, during Weekend Update, Amy Poehler did a segment on the upcoming wedding of Abishek and Ash (painfully pronounced, of course!) with a "Brangelina" name-combo of "Aishwarishek" - a rather weak punchline, but it's interesting that this is becoming a recurring theme in comedy news.

Will post video as soon as I find it!

Big B v SRK: Part Deux

2007-01-19T09:04:00.000-06:00

Last night on The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert re-MEdiated several celebrity feuds. It seems as if a number of Bolly-philes sent in their comments and suggestions.

Akshaye, Shaadi Se Pehle, please lose the hats. But keep the bookish specs.

2007-01-14T17:51:00.000-06:00

Everyone said Shaadi Se Pehle (2006) was awful - but you knew you could trust me to throw myself on that grenade, na? Let me tell you it wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting - and it was certainly better than Aap Ki Khatir - and I did get some fashion gems for us in the process. This movie has a really wide array of costuming going on, with Akshaye and Mallika getting the worst of it, although he has some really nice clothes too, and since she's the sex bomb, it's not surprising she looks like a (naked) train wreck half the time. Let's just get that out of the way first. Here she is in her first scene ("Dil Vich Hulchul" or "Ankhiyon Se Gal Kar Gayi," depending on whether you ask the DVD menu or raaga.com). She's wearing a silver bra top and tiny skirt with a silver mesh...well, apron, I guess you'd call it. Note how it isn't actually a dress and is just a front.

The backup dancers fare no better; you'll see two in front here wearing flared satin legwarmers. Hey Desidancer, do you know if there's a name for these things? I mean, they're clearly not to warm legs. They're like overgrown spats or something, and they flap when the dancers kick.

The girl to Mallika's left looks like she's wearing the moon boots of a person twice her height.

Though I do like her crocheted elephant beach hat.

On to my favorite part of the movie: my FPMBF (that's "Fake-Pretend Movie BoyFriend," in case we have any new readers). His outfit that I complained about back before the movie came out is just as bad in the movie (in the first song, "Kabhi Mil To") as it is in the publicity stills.

It's possible that this is supposed to be silly; this song is set up with a wink-wink reference to how couples in Hindi films embrace and then break into duets, so it might be a parody of the song teleport to Europe. Not sure. Poor Ayesha wears the same white lace-up boots with at least three ensembles, possibly four. I do appreciate the economy of reusing costumes - and heck, we all have a favorite pair of shoes. Boots of this height often get mis-paired, I think, and her costumer fell into the trap, particularly with the cuffed-at-the-knees bleach-smeared jeans (bottom right), which make her look stumpy - but hey, at least she's got a kicky umbrella to match.

If you go to my old post about these outfits, you can get a really good look at Ayesha's jeans with a giant sparkly butterfly on the front - in the collage above, they're in the top left picture. In mid-dance move it just looks like she's wearing a longer tunic-type top, but when she stands up straight you can see it's actually a cropped top with a butterfly on the pants below - oh of course, that makes sense. This is one of those times when I think some costume designers - in this case Ashelee Rubello, who is also credited with Ishq Vishk and Josh, which feature, respectively, the Worst Shirt (Male) in Bollywood and a gang leader toting his gun in a name-emblazoned fanny pack - may have actually lost their minds completely, even if only momentarily.

Also, Akshaye dresses like a cowboy for no apparent reason.

Isn't it awesome how the front bits are tied together to show off the belt buckle? Once a friend of mine was at a party, and, spotting someone walk in wearing a very natty ensemble and Elton John-esque sunglasses, yelled across the room to said person "How gay are you?!?" (Fortunately he is both very good-humored and very out of the closet.) I said that at the screen right here.

Later, Akshaye's character, who is trying to wriggle out of an engagement for noble reasons (let me just be quick to defend), is advised as follows:

He comes up with these:

Bravo (and to Ferzine Khambatta, whom the credits labels as Akshaye's costume designer)! Marijuana, peace, and Rolling Stones patches are standard-issue rebel, but along with the Playboy bunny he has a swastika - and not the Hindu kind, I don't think, since it's black and in a white circle on a red background, though I'd be delighted to be corrected - on the elbow.

Okay, next we have another example of overused accessory-itis. In "Mundeya," Akshaye wears five versions of basically the same stupid hat. At this point in the plot he's rid of the fiancee, so there's no reason for him to be dressed like this. Maybe to highlight what a mismatch his character's advertising executive hypochondriac is for Mallika's "international model" mafia princess?

Even with all of this, most of the time Akshaye and Ayesha look very normal, him prepped out (drool drool drool) and her in very pretty salwaar-kameez or non-crazy western clothes. And boy howdy do they both rock the glasses!

(I could not love him any more right here. Sigh.)

And you know who else looks really good in this movie? When he's not dressed in the most conservative items from this month's International Male catalog, Aaftab Shivdasani looks very handsome and classy, as in a wedding scene here.

Careful inspection of the credits revealed that he's listed as doing some of the costume work for the movie. Nice! So between this outfit and Akshaye's preppyness, Shaadi Se Pehle actually ranked quite high on the yum-o-meter for this reporter. Still, I do recommend you close the windows as night so that the giant sparkly moth on Ayesha's jeans doesn't come in and chew up your closet.

Bollywood Fugly lesson #6: fugly is as fugly does

2007-01-10T22:25:00.000-06:00

Ne'er a truer sartorial reflection of personality graced our fair screens. Smug bully Raj is so not Robin Hood, despite his forest-ready merry lace-up top.

(Koi Mil Gaya, 2003)

Of course, Rohit also gets inflicted with a sleeveless green wonder; here I like to imagine that his dalliance with outlandish clothing is just growing pains as he gets used to life post-Jadoo.

(Personally I liked the preppy Rohit better anyway, even in yet another sleeveless green piece in the top photo. What's with this theme anyway?)

Big B vs. SRK

2007-01-10T07:56:00.000-06:00

Last night on The Colbert Report on Comedy Central, Stephen Colbert did a bit on celebrity feuds. After Trump & Rosie, Jolie & Madonna, he finished it up with a fantastic bit on the apparent feud between Amitabh and Shah Rukh (Big B didn't go to SRK's New Year's Eve Party...!) with pictures, shots of all the other Bollywood stars who did go, video clips comparing them from Mohabbatein, and finished up with a reference to Dillip Kumar and Raj Kapoor.

Now, I found the clip online, but you have to slide the bar just over halfway to get to the section about Bollywood. Enjoy! I know you will!

1/11/07 UPDATE - Many, many thanks to Anangbhai, who uploaded the precise segment on Google Video!

Feeling Weary?

2007-01-09T11:34:00.000-06:00

Is your week lacking in amazement? Fear no more. Anytime I need a little brain-shock, I watch a clip of this song. (I know it hurts at first but you'll feel a mind-numbing sense of peace by the end.)I like this raggedy little movie for what it could have been.
This routine is one of the main reasons Yaadein was struggling. There are 200 silly things going on in this clip. Can you find them all? ;)

Looking Forward to Fugly

2007-01-08T10:23:00.000-06:00

A few days ago, I came across this slide show on Rediff.com, highlighting "films to look forward to over the next [twelve] months." A number of these films look quite interesting, but that's not what I want to point out to you, dear reader.

Take note:

Amitabh in Jhoom Barabar Jhoom:

Rani in Tara Rum Pum:

Dances with...Ninjas??

2007-01-05T10:42:00.000-06:00

Gah! Between the yin-yang emblazoned ninjas (and she-ninjas), and the fanning, bowing, cheomsang-wearing Chinese ladies, straight out of the Background Casting for Dummies textbook, the only redeeming fug-factors in this song picturisation are Akshaye Khanna-- who doesn't even dance a single count-- and Upen Patel… though it looks like his wardrobe came from the Backstreet Boys' going-out-of-business sale.

I think my dance troupe needs a pack of back-up ninjas...

It's all about the Baadshah baby...

2007-01-02T09:18:00.000-06:00

While I've been reeling under the demands of a new year, so overburdened that my movie viewing has slipped to a mere two films a month (!), one of our faithful readers has rescued us from the dreariness of carefully planned, understated outfits--clothing without excess. Thank you Adeline. We are indebted to you and the costume designer for our Baadshah.

Um, does this outfit say, "Thrift-Store Phantom of the Opera" or is it just me?

"Aishy aur Abi/Aishy aur Abi/They are coming to your town..."

2006-12-29T12:04:00.000-06:00

Snce it has been mentioned on this blog before, and Ash is certainly a regular figure on the site, and this union may bring forth the next generation of Bollywood...

Ash, Abishek May Wed on February 19th

Gah!

2006-12-22T21:38:00.000-06:00

There's fugly, and then there's...this. Amisha Patel, whose costumers have been explicitly warned (although not before this movie came out, to be fair), begins this song in Aap Ki Khatir looking relatively normal, if overly eyeliner-ed.

After all, she's the bride-to-be, out celebrating, so we'll allow her some excesses. And her red top looks nice enough, though maybe a bit too small in the chestal region.

But then she gets up to join the dance and we can see her entire one-piece, bell-bottomed, peekaboo jumpsuit.

(Sunil's all "damn, girl" and she's all "I have to hide my face in shame!")

I really don't know what to say. It's so clearly wrong, but I can't think of a single adjective to sum it up precisely. And I am a woman obsessed; I took six screen captures of this so that its full fugliness, from squishy top to bizarre middle to really wide bottom, could be seen by all.

On the other hand, this film gave subtitled glory to a theme of this blog:

A Defense of White Christmas

2006-12-21T10:40:00.000-06:00

OK, Beth, I am restraining my righteous indignation out of respect for your usually impeccable blogpresence... But you do NOT mock my beloved White Christmas, which, after It's A Wonderful Life is the BEST Christmas movie ever. I adore the clothes - the huge crinolined skirts and the lovely colors... and the music & dancing is fantastic, and it should be remade by Bollywood since the plot is pure Bollywood, if you really think about it, right?

I'm thinking...

SRK for Bing Crosby (light-hearted gravitas)
Kajol for Rosemary Clooney (goody! pair 'em up again!)
Saif for Danny Kaye (comic timing)
Preity for Vera-Ellen (although, we need a really spectacular dancer here...)
Big B for the General (the audience would be in tears during the tribute at the end!)

And I think Karan Johar would be all over the melodrama of the plotline... what do you think?