If you're mean to the kids...

...the punishment is to endure more costume changes than Diana Ross.

I'm not hating. I love this song, I think it's super-cute. Udit Narayan is IMO the most amazing playback singer of this generation; his vocalisation for SRK is spot-on. But I have to admit the song is kind of silly, and the fact that it seems to be costumed by a couple of six year olds, skyyed up on sugar, is certainly worth mention.

After taking a billion screen captures, I decided just to let you have the link for yourselves. If Superman, Batman, some random-ass purple superhero, Indiana Jones, the Karate Kid, Michael Jackson, a matador, and the Air India mascot weren't enough, stick around 2:15 into the video for the tiger suit...



Who's sorry, Shah Rukh? I'm sorry I didn't drop acid before watching this.

Dammit!

I stayed up late last night scanning pics from "Nach Baliye," and this morning they're all corrupted! Can't open any of them. &*%^@! But then I realized that since Pooja mentioned it first, she technically owns the rights to this topic!

In the beloved Bunty aur Babli (which is my new "intro" loaner to newbies, since it is impossible not to like it...) I have long watched "Nach Baliye" and asked, "what were they thinking?!" Rani's costumes for this number are so appallingly ill-suited to her figure, especially in contrast with the variations worn by the backup girls.

So I suspect that someone lost a bet... or, bet someone that they could get away with dressing Rani in a dreadful wardrobe for an entire song. This, despite the wonderful fitted Salwar suits & various costumes she wore throughout the film.

Theories?

Amitabh as Willie Nelson

Okay. I promised not to break the rules. So I won't. But you really need to go here and look at this photo of Amitabh dressed like a messed up version of Willie Nelson George Clinton!

Do it. You'll thank me.

Naach or how little money can you spend on female costumes

What happens if you spend all your money on lights, camera, action and after the money is gone you remember that you forgot to order the costumes for the female lead? Just dig into the bins of the set designers leftovers and try to come up with anything to (at least almost) cover the essential parts of your heroine.

Fishnet looks nice over shiny bikinis:


Any kind of shiny shawl can be stiched on swimwear:


Unused lampshades can still make unconventional skirts:


Red, always an eyecatcher:

Feathers make fluffy accessory:

And last but not least. The less fabric you make the actress wear the less the male audience will care what she wears and if you happen to miraculously have some leftover fabric, before wraping it around the heroines body, put it on your heros head:

The Vest

Really, what more need be said?

What all the Bollywood gangster hos are wearing this fall:

Last weekend saw the opening of the much-anticipated remake of "Don", starring Shah Rukh Khan, as the title gangster. The original "Don" was made in 1978 and featured some discoriffic fashions. The new "Don" gives us, here at Bollywood Fugly, much material to laugh and point at.

"Hello? Get me the costuming director, immediately."

On the whole, our SRK sports some schwanky 70's style apparel. My main issue is with the fugged out women:


At first look this outfit may not seem offensive, sure. But the fact that you can see her panty-lines or that her bosoms are jacked up to the 87th floor will change your initial impression.

"Baby, please-- I must insist... You need to put your coat back on and cover that mess up!"

"Seriously, ho, I need a drink after looking at that crap."

"Now look, you're not allowed to go shopping without me. That fugg can't happen again. I have an image, ya hear?"

Supporting Gangsta-Divas, Isha Koppikar and Priyanka Chopra get down with their fugg, too. Which is sad, because they're both so gorgeous...

"Where's the costumer? We've got a bone to pick!"

Isha: "You know they got your dress as a buy-one-get-one with Kareena's gold outfit, right?
Priyanka: "Whatever, biotch. Yours looks like a lampshade from Fredericks of Hollywood. How dumpy can you get?"

However, our King Khan was not spared a few moments of contagious fugg.

"When I catch the guy who paired this tie with this shirt, I will whip this disk like a Ninja star, straight at his empty head..."

Although reviewers are talking about the strange tie-inside-the-shirt look that SRK rocks, we've actually already seen this before. And it wasn't pretty:

John Abraham tucks his ties in, in Taxi 9211. Nana Patekar is trying to pretend he doesn't know him, in front of the ladies...

"Look, I'm not responsible for this mess, I just read my lines and give dishoom!"

Fugtacular Boys (2003)

[Click any photo to enlarge.]

"No, seriously! I like your vest thingy Siddharth.
It's so enviro-friendly! Wha--oh. I see.
They're soda cans. There's Coca-cola!"

"Genelia, why did all our friends turn into low budget animatrons?"

"I don't know! Let's close our eyes and dance until they go away!"

"It worked! They're gone!"

"Let's get out of here before they put us in another bad outfit."

"This isn't funny anymore."

"I know. It's paining me!
Siddharth, if anyone is hurt, it should be me.
Do you really think my boobs are shaped like this wood bustier?"

"You're right Genelia. This is the last one anyhow. Last one! Last one!"

"No big deal. It's not like I have a chip on my shoulder or anything."

Mohabbat (starring Madhuri Dixit, Akshaye Khanna & Sanjay Kapoor, 1997)

Hey Mads, that's a cool silver chain you got there!


You think so, Akshaye? I must admit, it's really heavy!


No, no, it's really neat! Can I borrow it?


But it helps distract from the unfortunate black bodysuit they put me in for this movie... I mean, the way this thing flings around as I dance is miraculous to behold!


True dat.


OMG, the chain is controlling me!


Finally, I got away from the chain... and at least the costume designer didn't put me in a stocking cap like the backup dancers in sundresses...

Bollywood Fugly lesson #2: Skin-tone leather clothing? Avoid, yaar!

(Our friend the Big "Overall" B in Saate Pe Satta [a remake of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers], 1982 - yes, I know, 1982 seems awfully late for this kind of thing.)

The pictures don't quite do it justice, so you'll have to trust me: at times in this outfit, when the lighting or shadows are just right, it appears that Amitabh is naked except for his sleeves. In a clear shot, you can see that his leather overalls are not in fact the color of his skin - v g. But in motion or shadows, you can't tell. And when you've got legs as long as his, and tend to do a lot of legs-bent poses, that's v bad.

And the onesie is funny for a related reason. Please note that in the background, Shakti Kapoor is wearing a burlap bag...

...until he isn't.


Hema Malini shows us why ponchos only made a temporary revival recently while Amitabh demonstrates that a guitar and a strut are always the perfect accessories.



Also, I noticed some swimsuits to point out. This is nothing Christie Brinkley wasn't wearing in this era, and I'm sure there are far worse Bollywood leopard-print swimsuits, but I still don't like it.


These, however, are cute, if not exactly à la mode for 1982.


For the record, the rest of the clothes in this movie aren't too bad, given that it's Bollywood in 1982.

Bollywood Fugly lesson #1: less is more

(From No Entry, 2005. imdb does not list a costume designer for this movie, but I have an inside track on this particular production, so I'll see what I can find out.)

Never one to disappoint a gal, our Salman.

Unlike some bad Bollywood clothes (and good ones too, let's be honest), this one does not veer off into the land of overly complicated. It's not full of peek-a-boo holes, overpopulated with zippers, jarringly colorful, laced up, bespangled, shiny, or see-through. It's actually quite simple - nay, classic! The man, his shades, his neckwear, and his
itsy
bitsy
teeny
tiny
short
short
shorts.

(And even still, I bet he's got more square inches of fabric on him than any of the women here. But never mind.)

Which brings us to an interesting question: how responsible are actors for what they wear? It's really not Salman's fault, is it? (See, Babasko, I can be charitable.) We should probably drag the costume designers into this, but I imagine they're not so fun to get screen captures of. So the stars it is, accessible and pretty as they are. But we've got our eye on you, costume designers. Watch it.

Fugulous Yaadein

For me, this is the image that started it all.

Even Kareena deserves better than puffy pink prom sleeves!
Studded leather jacket, leather pants with not one, but TWO cosmetic zippers on left upper thigh AND a shirt that looks like a WWF costume reject. Hrithik, my dear Hrithik, please do not work with the people responsible for this debacle again!

From Yaadein (2001).

About this Blog

This is THE spot to post photos of our most beloved filmi stars in atrocious outfits!!!

In one sense, this could be considered a public shaming of costume designers but we won't look at it that way. They're hard working people who sometimes make ugly, ugly, big & fugly mistakes, thereby sacrificing the bodies of our most favored heroes and heroines, not to mention legions of innocent back-up dancers. Film is forever, people!

That being the case, hit me up if you've got screen captures of fugulously bad outfits from a Bollywood film you've seen lately. Kollywood, Tollywood & bizarre backup dancers are included!

Only two rules:
1) No pictures of stars out-and-about. Sorry! This site is for outfits that were designed fugly and still made it to the silver screen! There are photos of stars who can't dress themselves all over the internet. (It's just a darn shame when other people can't dress you either.)
2) At the very least, list the name of the movie with your photo. It's totally cool if you want to say more than that or do a fugly comparison. Even better if you mention the costume designer so we can see if this is a trend. ;0)

If you're not on the guest list to submit already, email your submission--use the link on the upper left--and it will be added post-haste!

-t.