OMG. WTF, AB2.0?

Abhi baby, you may be BFug's favorite, the one for whom our collective heart goes pitter-patter, but if SRK can't get away with smudged, oddly-sleeved, serially-ripped t-shirts, then neither can you.

(Photo from Filmikhabar, apparently originally from desifans.com. Thanks to filmigeek for the find!)

We'll just see about that.

Reuters has a story on Bollywood fashion.

Bollywood fashion has become a lot less garish and more sophisticated these days, but designers say it still lacks its own unique style.... Outrageous outfits are out....

Oh ye of little faith.

Rediff.com is asking readers: "Who's the worst-dressed actress in Bollywood?"

Currently, Mallika Sherawat has taken 27% of the vote. B-Fugly favorite Amisha Patel is not far behind with 19% of the vote. TMBWITW is at 13%.

Thoughts?

the 80s were kind to no one

that don't impress me much

From Biwi No. 1 (1999)....

Sushmita!

Shania!

Sushmita!

Shania!

(Thanks to Everything Shania for the pictures.)

Preity Princess

I liked Jaan-e-Mann, but some of Preity's clothes need our attention.


What era is this supposed to be evoking? It's a flashback to the character's college days, so if we assume they're 30ish, that would put us at the mid- to late-1990s. The gothic font trucker cap and princess lingo say 2002, but the torn jeans are more 1993 and the stacks of plastic bracelets remind me of 1984. And the hair beads? No clue.

Whatever the era, the look is clearly, you know, bad-ass. Maybe the whole thing is supposed to be mockable. It definitely is when Anupam wears it.

Also, the white shoes make me itch, even if she is just an extra with a scrunchie.

(all photos from Jaan-e-Mann, 2006)

Bollywood Man-Nipple - Part 2: When Bad Nipples Happen to Good People

Shahrukh, we need to talk. Again.



Ignoring the India FM insignia across your chest, there are a few problems. I'm going to ask this straight-up. Please put a shirt on.

I'm not going to lie, SRK, we've had nipple issues with you before. There's your penchant for wearing transparent shirts, a proclivity that is widely documented in the films of Karan Johar.

But this.

This is a problem.

I do have to admit that I like the construction worker motif. There are certain professions that are more attractive than others. Some are drawn to pilots and military men, because who doesn't love a guy in uniform? Others like artists and actors, who are more creative. Quite frankly, a construction worker is sexy because you know that he's got to be good with his hands. And I like the hair, too. In fact, I like everything that's going on above the neck and below the waist.

But.

Your man-nipples.

Shahrukh, let's not mince words. You're an attractive guy, but you're over forty. And I don't know what the heck you have done to yourself to make your arm-veins pop out like a blood donor's dream. To top it off, you are not oozing sex appeal, as may have been the goal in this photo shoot. You are just plain oozing. I do not know what you are oozing, but that is gross. And it is oozing all over your normally lovely man-nipples. (And we know they're lovely, because we've seen Dil Se).

I know you're catching a lot of flak for this (see Beth's earlier post), and I know it's all in the name of movie promotion, but Shahrukh, please - do us all a favor. Put those man-nipples away.

OMG. WTF, SRK? round 2

Leaving the abs aside for a minute - because they are frightening and wrong - take a closer look at his jeans. (You officially have permission to stare at his crotch.)

I've never seen jeans like that. They look a little uncomfortable. Anyone want to offer a guess as to what the extra patch is for?

King Khan is also the current King of Bollywood Fugly, topping our index with 11 entries. Woot!

Bobby... Again

From Nanhe Jaisalmer.

Pony-hawk? (click to enlarge)



Jeans with applique? (click to enlarge)

literary fug

There's something about this shirt/tie combo that reminds me of 1980s American mall staple Chess King (maybe Shahrukh chose his ensemble from a store that had a word in its title in common with the book du jour).




Photos courtesy of IndiaGlitz.

Granted the bottom picture also has a very unfortunate facial expression, maybe caught mid-sentence and mid-head turn to look at a different photographer, but the shirt is really annoying for having such basic components. It's like a really bland but still bad twist on the Don: The Chase Begins Again shirt-and-tie-from-same-fabric look, but just the collar and tie this time.

So in conclusion: book good, shirt and tie bad.

Also: real book collection or fake-pretend library?

SRK and His T-Shirt Collection

Beth's awesome post reminded me of SRK's hideous outfits in "Kaal Dhamaal" (Kaal, 2005).



Is that a red tank top with a sword cut out on his chest at 4:44?!?!?

OMG. WTF, SRK?

Soooo, Shahrukh.... Can I have a word?



Going for the "aspiring glam rocker got in a fight in an alley with a backup dancer from an off-off-Broadway production of Fame" look, are we?

Can we go over the elements of your outfit? I'm a little confused as to what you and K Jo were thinking when you got dressed today. Let's see, here we have:
- post-something glow to the skin
- cheeks/jaw done with contouring makeup
- perfect hair
- eyebrows just so (yet not in full-on ~ mode)
- dirty bandages on the arms (unless those are what people are calling "sleeves" these days)
- artfully slashed, dirty outer shirt that somehow seems to be the same piece of fabric as the inner shirt (look at his left shoulder, how it seems to be the same at the big circle on his chest) - or maybe the right shoulder is a different piece of fabric, even though it's the same color as the left shoulder. Is this a Möbius strip hoodie? My head hurts.

I really wish you had shown your trousers, too. Are they shorts, with your legs done up like your arms?

Many, many thanks to Filmi Geek to passing this on. She found in on eBay, natch.

Fugly or Fashionable?

Just stumbled across this website for fair-trade, eco-friendly, women-made products called Global Girlfriend, and found this:

Bollywood Cosmetic Case ~ Silver Trim $18.00



Fugly or Fashionable, I want one!

Bollywood Man-Nipple - Part 1: The Good, the Bad, and the Fugly

God help you if you ever google the phrase "Bollywood man-nipple." Of course, the first site to appear is this one, but aside from that I cannot be responsible for whatever atrocities you may witness.

Because of this obvious deficiency in search engines, I have researched far and wide to find the most fugly examples of homo sapiens' most useless appendage - the man-nipple, otherwise known in Latin as the vir papilla. (As an aside, vir specifically refers to males, as opposed to mankind in general that homo implies... modern meaning aside.) My interest particularly pertains to the subgenus Bollywoodus vir papilla, more commonly called the "Bollywood man-nipple" (as previously mentioned).

Firstly, I would like to say that there is such a thing as good Bollywood man-nipple. Good man-nipple occurs when an attractive Bollywood actor, hereafter referred to "John Abraham," appears completely topless - no need for cloth to obscure a solid chest, am I right or am I right? Good man-nipple also occurs when aforementioned "John Abraham" is wearing a button-up shirt that is buttoned incompletely. However, good man-nipple can be easily or suddenly changed to bad man-nipple if "John Abraham" appears wearing a mesh shirt, strange make-up, or any other fashion atrocity. And then, of course, there is the "fugly man-nipple," which is a category that completely defies definition. To illustrate:

Good man-nipple

Yes, please.

Bad man-nipple

Good nipple... bad underpants.

Fugly man-nipple

He seems less appetizing in this get-up, but I suddenly crave a salad.

Please stay tuned for Bollywood Man-Nipple - Part 2: When Bad Nipples Happen to Good People.

Midweek Fun: Aamir in Drag

Have fun!

Monster fug!

I just finished "watching" the 1990 horror flick Bandh Darwaza. I use the term "watching" loosely, as what I was doing could more accurately be described as "rolling on the floor laughing my heiney off." I was going to write a post about it in my own blog, but I figure this is a good candidate for one of Steve's lengthy write-ups.

There's not much to this film besides being your basic creature feature, focusing on the terror wrought by a vampire. This vampire stands out in that he has his own "cult" worshipping him. Apparently his groupies have more in common than just a
misguided sense of religion (don't pray to a guy whose main weaknesses are daylight and water, yo). They also unite because of their bad fashion sense:



From left to right: S&M guy, Kimono guy, and Tiger girl. None of them gets a costume change.

But I guess this is par for the course, considering their fearless leader, Aruna Irani:



Even if these people aren't vampires themselves, their clothes are pretty monstrous.

ETA: Close-up of S&M guy's lederhosen for Maja. You can't take your eyes off him, can you? Or his facial hair, at least.



Love the nipple, dude. Love the nipple.

Your chance to dress a Bollywood star!

...the mini Khan project!

Seriously, the man needs some new clothes. He can't walk around in the "Pretty Woman" cargo pants forever.

Preview the FUG: Cash

I guess the designer had a healthy budget for belts.

Do you love fugly? So do I!

The talented Karisma Kapoor in yet more inexplicable clothes (and hair - that is some big hair).


(Papi Gudia, 1996, from our friend Army of Monkeys)

What's next? The Farrah*?

Check out my friend Scribe Bollywood's post on SRK's hair. Good lord.

* Fawcett, that is.

Govinda AND Salman

From Partner, apparently "inspired" by Will Smith-flick Hitch.

Maybe he too was born a poor black child....

Aha!

(Jhoom Barabar Jhoom 2007 and The Jerk 1979)

Does anyone else think Steve Martin would be very enjoyable in a Bollywood movie?

Awesome or awful? Do Anjaane

It's a fine line, really, especially when you're looking at the 1970s.








This finery brought to you by an entire costume and wardrobe department: Bhanu Athaiya (who according to imdb is the first Indian to win an Oscar - for costume design in Gandhi - and was also involved in Lagaan and Swades, among many others) , Shankar Jadhav, Vasant Mahajan, and Mani Rabadi.

Also, take a close look at these sunglasses.


Neat, huh? Prem Chopra and the Big B in 1976? Or Aishwarya and Baby B in 2007? Who can tell?!?

Shivaji: the Fug

Try as hard as you can to make it past the guys in the tiger-face shirts. And the blackface. It's worth it.

Salaam-e-Fug

Okay, not really; the movie had little to fug - its problems were elsewhere - but you can't have a cast of three zillion without some missteps.

On the up side, Akshaye wears a jaunty shirt with butterflies on it.


On the down side, he also wears this ugly denim marching band jacket:


See the embellishments on the sleeve?

They're so evil that they're taking over his arm in a self-destructive rage and making him choke himself!

But that is nothing compared to Anil Kapoor, who of course is supposed to look ridiculous here - and well done!


I think here he might be trying to communicate that even though he looks like an idiot, at least he isn't pulling a Himesh Reshammiya like every other man in this shot.

So Much FUG!

As I've said before, we aim to please. Maya, this post is for you.

From Jhoom Barabar Jhoom (click to enlarge):

Even more on the Yash Raj Films website.