Friday, November 03, 2006

Aishwarya Rai Lie

There is a strict code of conduct to being a Bollywood Fugly Fashion Police officer, but I have to ask special Friday permission to deviate from the rules, just this once...

If I hide my mouth, they can't call me out...

None of us have fugged Aishwarya out yet, because she's usually gorgeous-beyond-words. But with that comes responsibility, and I'm sad to report, The Rai has let us down.
As you may know, Aishwarya Rai is an "ambassadress" for L'Oreal cosmetics. Which is fabulous, because I'm glad to see desi women get their due as icons of breathtaking beauty, and in turn it would suggest that major-label cosmetics companies are expanding their offerings to include products suited to the women of color. Yay!

Having recently discovered that my 2 favorite lipsticks, suited to a beige girl, have been discontinued, I was thrilled to discover L'Oreal's new "Star Secrets" line of products. Eva Longoria, Natalie Imbruglia, Penelope Cruz, and The Rai all have a palate of their own, as part of the "Star Secrets" line. I assumed Aishwarya's lipstick, "Aishwarya's Beige" would be a perfect shade for beige and brown girls...

looks good, right?

In various layouts and promo stills, Ash can be seen sporting her "Aishwarya's Beige" lipcolor, and it looks gorgeous. So $8 later, I was the proud owner of my own tube of "Aishwarya's Beige".

(allegedly wearing "Aishwarya's Beige")
F!U! G-L-Y! You ain't got no alibi! That's fugly!

Gurrrrrl! Why you lying? I know you're not even wearing your own lipstick... if it doesn't show up on me, I know this mess would wash you out and look invisible on your skin. Why you got to misrepresent? I believed you, Ash; I believed there was finally some makeup out there for us to wear, sista! Daayum. Just for that-- I'm not going to see Umrao Jaan, so I can recoup my $8, chor.

PS, my mascara looks nothing like this, either!

If you can get past the hideous fragrance that smells like your grandma's perfume (not that there's anything wrong with your grandma or her aroma, I just don't need the smell of her on my lips all day long), the color is next to invisible on any desi, olive-skinned or Latina woman, and suggests Rai probably can't even wear the product with her own name on it. "Aishwarya's Beige" ought to be called "Washed Out Anglo-Indian Item Girl"! Somebody get Helen on the phone, maybe she can pimp this stuff.

Ladies, dont' get Wronged by Rai-- this lipstick is crap.
dedicated to ANNA & Rupes.


Pooja said...

Don't you hate it when your favorite cosmetics are discontinued? I am still looking for a replacement for MAC's "Terra" as I am on my last tube!

Anyways, thanks for the full-report DD. Very useful information. (Although I am hoping to see Umrao Jaan during the week. I don't expect any Bollywood Fugly in that one... although you never know.)

Beth said...

I don't mean to go all Color-Me-Beautiful on you, but maybe it's a question of undertone of skin color? Like, technically, I'm as pale as Kate Winslet, but that doesn't mean her bombshell red will suit me.

Maybe I'm just confused by whole notion that Ash could do anyone wrong. I lurve her. I may be alone in that.

DesiDancer said...

they discontinued Terra??? shit, that's 3 lipsticks in 1 year. :(

I hear Umrao Jaan is not fugly, but they didn't keep the original songs. No "Dil Cheez Kya Hai"? Color me dismayed.

DesiDancer said...

Beth, yes it is an undertone thing, but The Rai has red/gold undertones, like most desi women. Most mainstream American makeup has pink or orange undertones, rendering it a sickly shade on us.

The lipstick is the right undertones, but tooooo pale for any brown girl to wear.

Pooja said...

Yep, no more Terra. It's heartbreaking, truly.

See, I don't think you need the original music if you are doing a remake/reinterpretation. And the new music is quite good, though admittedly, not as good as the original. I am also curious to see Ash's kathak, being a kathak dancer myself.

Pooja said...

"Maybe I'm just confused by whole notion that Ash could do anyone wrong. I lurve her. I may be alone in that."

Yep, it's only you :). She's my least favorite of the current crop of actresses, save Kareena perhaps.

Susania said...

Speaking of lipsticks...

I got addicted to Lancome's "Sugared Maple" a few years back, but it's so damn expensive... well, you can find it for a quarter of the cost all OVER eBay - since it's a longstanding neutral shade, they give it out in those freebie kits, and apparently everyone's got a dozen tubes to sell.

Probably too pinky (since I'm a Pasty), but it's a really nice neutral...

Janeofalltrades said...

Awwww I'm so so so sorry...I'm going to personally compile a list of lipsticks for you to try and Aish in all honestly probably wears Lancome and not L'Oreal.

A lot however can be said about skin tone but more importantly the color of your lips. Aish's lips are pink naturally and she is fair but has a blue undertone so even someone with the same lip color with say yellow undertones would not be able to pull it off.

I have dark lips and a "beige" shade won't even show up on my lips. Brownish Mauves are the best shades for my lips.

And girl go for Lash Stylist or Volum Express mascara from Maybelline, Aish's Dual ended Mascara is too much work, too much clumps and not doing too well at retail.

The key to brown women's lips is not always the color of her face but the color of her lips. And you and Pooja are both fair skinned pink lipped beauties, browns and beiges will not be doing you guys any justice.

Beth said...

Wow, so much of advice going on! Cool. I think Steve and Velu might get confused, but since they are no-shows anyway, phooey on them.

I know this isn't the place for this, exactly, but since it came up - does anyone else like Aishwarya? I only sorta count Bride and Prejudice as Bollywood (which is not an argument I want to get into, by the way), she was in the first Bollywood movie I saw; if you don't, she was still in the first one I saw on the big screen (Taal), so maybe that explains my love for her.

DesiDancer said...

JoaT, You're my hero(ine)!

Beth- Ash is beautiful. After suffering B&P I've decided maybe not so much a formidable actress...

Kareena Kapoor? no comment, I'm trying to give up hateration for lent ;)

Susania said...

Pooja: Try this site:

As to the Ash question: I like her when she's actually good; the bad stuff she's done make me quite impatient. I think she's very inconsistent in her acting and can be utterly amteurish, but certain directors know how to get a good performance out of her. Namely S.L. Bhansali and Rituparno Ghosh (Chokher Bali). It will be interesting to see if the raft of Western films she's got coming out are any better.

Riggs said...

Wicked Wicked.

I must be honest, nothing about lipstick has ever made me chuckle so. Kudos.

I also watched this CNN-IBN dude who reviews movies rip the nayya Umrao Jaan a new one. He gave it 1 on 5 and said it was complete bollocks.

Neha said...

None of us have fugged Aishwarya out yet, because she's usually gorgeous-beyond-words.

what movies have you been watching!?

Anonymous said...

And you and Pooja are both fair skinned pink lipped beauties, browns and beiges will not be doing you guys any justice.

One male vote here for the dark brown Goth look. Yum.

Sonia said...

"Maybe I'm just confused by whole notion that Ash could do anyone wrong. I lurve her. I may be alone in that."

I'm completely obsessed with her - to the point that my husband knows I would leave him for her. And after watching Umrao Jaan this weekend, my obsession has escalated (except now I'd leave him for Abhishek Bachan as well hehe).

For every Bride & Prejudice (which I will admit was horrible), there is a Devdas =)

Anonymous said...

Ok here's my review on Umrao Jaan, the new: The sets, costumes and Aish's beauty are all breath-taking...but i left the theatre confused, mainly because the music and the style of the costumes didnt match the Lucknow backdrop: for instance, some costumes that the male actors are wearing are Rajasthani, and the music SUCKS (I have never heard the sound of sitars on any Mujra or Kawali songs before...oh, and the lyrics of some of the songs were in Rajput language...weird)

Basically, the movie is eye candy....but not much research has been done.....stick with the old Umrao (rekha)

Regarding to the make-up comments, i agree with have to take your skin tone into consideration as well as other factors..

Chic Mommy said...

You said is sister! Check out some of the reviews I did on Aishwarya Beige. She was actually caught wearing it to the Umrao Jaan premiere, but she totally has to vamp it up with brown lipliner and pearly gloss to make it show up. I got a tube too, and was terribly dissapointed. I'm sure Aishwarya got paid mucho money to lie about how good this lipstick looks on desi skin.

Anonymous said...

If your favorite lipstick is discontinued you can have it duplicated exactly by three customs. They specialize in this stuff. It's a bit pricey but worth it if its one of those shades!

Reflections On Life said...

While Ash is beautiful, I think she definitely has one FUGLY, and you've posted it in this blog - her Loreal Mascara ad photo!

Her eyelashes seem to have been replaced by caterpillars! Yuck!

BTW - love all the desi beauty tips and advice in this blog!

Anonymous said...

Great bollywood poll

free money said...

ha ha ha Aishwarya rai in bikini

Melissa said...

Turned out pretty good on me, but I'm lighter than Ash. You're right, it was lighter than you would expect.

maria said...

Maybe you can just put darker lipliner to make the lipstick look darker? In one pic I can see she has lipliner on

Anonymous said...

Stumbled across your blog quite by accident and had to commment on Bride and Prejudice! I love that movie! I'm surprised by the negativety towards it. It's a whole lot more entertaining than many Bollywood movies I've seen and Ms. Rai was quite charming in it!

Ren said...

Too hilarious... I can't say I hate The Rai. I feel like I could, but we'll all know it's cuz I'm really just super duper jealous.

I went out and bought the L'Oreal lippy just half an hour ago. I'm a brown girl who looks ashy without makeup, and like a Brazilian chick with makeup (by the by, also just found Lancome's Color Ideal foundation in II30C - finally! Me in a bottle! Vair Vair Expensive though, eep!) Anyhoo, back to the lippy...

It seems all L'Oreal lipstuff has that distinct scent, and texture is soft, it goes on smooth. As for the colour, it disappears on me, because my top lip is darker than my bottom one. I expected it to be less sheer (as in not at all). Having said that, I think I'll try it with my Cargo lipliner in Coffee and methinks this'll do the trick.

By the way, the closest match I've found to The Rai's pinky beige lippy look is L'Oreal Glam Shine in Goddess - use a liner first!

Spicelover said...

she has brown liner and pink lipstick on in that mascara picture...

Jasmine said...

shes hardly a "woman of colour" saying she's coloured would be like saying hmmm i dunno, her acting in Bride and Prejudice was awesome and so non-cringe factor..

exactly. NOT TRUE lol

personally, i relate myself more (when concerning indian actresses) to the likes of Parminder Nagra(Bend in like Beckham) .now shes a tru indian beauty who CAN DEFINITly act!! lol.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I was very disappointed with the actual color of the lipstick when I tried it on my hand, at a department store. Like many people I was a huge fan of Ash, but since her false advertisements and promotions, I am kinda put off by her. Ash is light skinned but she is not white-skinned and to promote something representing Indians knowing her market would majority be Indians, she should have gone for a safer shade. It is pretty evident that the shade "Aishwarya Beige" clearly doesnt suit her either which is highly embarrassing and humiliating. I say she should be proud of herself and what she is rather than trying to change herself for a few extra $$. I am very very disappointed in you Ash. Very disappointed.

Anonymous said...

I think Ash looks very pretty in her movies....but in real life she just looks normal and she should get a new stylist.

Anonymous said...

Actually Aish is quite dark, she just uses a lot of make up to lighten her complexion, she's South Indian too so there should be no surprise in that. Look at how dark Rekha was and now look how light she has become... I believe Aish is following in her footsteps lol Aish might just love light shades on her lips because they make the lips look fuller. If the lipstick disappears on your lips, I suggest you put some foundation on your lips and then fill it in with a light lip liner. Then put the lipstick on top, it should appear better.

Anonymous said...

Oh and by the way, that Indian actress from Bend it like Beckham? She is fugly, did you notice her blemish prone face in that movie? Eww it looked disgusting, why does she look so dark in that movie and in magazines she has pale skin. Dark skinned women should be happy with their skin...fuckin idiots

Anonymous said...

Rai is wearing professional makeup created by a professional makeup artist. so u all gotta go to the professionals.

i used for example beige, brown givency or mac lipsticks, or beige lipliner JIL SANDER + lipbalm. (my stylists advice) iTs always the beautiful result as uve seen on the pics.
its not a question of the undertone
im sure, chanel, mac, nars or some of the professional brands can offer u the perfekt beige,brown ur skin needs.


Anonymous said...

i bought it too and i do feel that i was cheated!!! it just does not work! i do agree that she is wearing lancome instead.

sushilsingh said...

Hi, Friend
Aishwarya Rai, the angel and the queen of the Bollywood, was born on 1 st Nov

1973 in INDIA.Born to a marine engineer father and a teacher mother at Manglore,

Aishwarya has spent most of her life in Mumbai. She did her matriculation from Arya

Vidya Mandir and later joined Jai Hind College. She did her twelfth standard from

Ruparel College. Having scored well in her exams, she landed in the Rachana

Institute. Please visit For More Detail

sillybachi said...

I, too, was bamboozled by Ash the hustla. I thought it would look good on skin tone is pretty similar to hers..but nooo..when I put it on it just looks like I have vaseline on my lips!! I paid $6 (used a coupon..take that! muahaahaa!) for this??

Never again.

Anonymous said...

ladies, try Chanel's 'Soft Mink' color lipstick. A bit pricey but it's the absolute best pinky beige brown with opaque coverage for those of us with less than pink lips! This color is amazing on all desi skin tones, I've been wearing it for the last 12 years :)

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Isannida said...

Hello, everybody, although I'm on the late show here I had to write anyways because I used to work for MAC and was also upset when Terra was discontinued...Your best bet will now be to mix your lipcolor with a lipliner, which is what I think Ash did. Someone else mentioned this, and its so true...we would get promo pics for MAC Viva glam lipstick and a sheet that told us what they used for the shot, and they would literally only use a dot of the shade they were advertising and a whole lot of liner and gloss-the color you were actually seeing.

As for Terra, I'm afraid there is no exact shade quite like it. You could try Hodgepodge or Cork liner mixed with Honeyflower lipstick, I have a medium complexion(half Pakistani) and I really like this combo! If Honeyflower turns too orange try Fresh Brew(lighter and more neutral) or Verve(more plum but very popular with desi women). Chelsea is pretty too, but a bit deeper than Terra.
Sorry so long, but hope that helps!

redruby said...

Go take it out on L'oreal you people and not on Aishwarya Rai. Go find another lip colour if this doesn't suit you. That's what any sane vain woman would do. :P Be practical and not a psycho.

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shérazade said...

I'm sorry for you but aishwarya's lipcolor isn't hideous, I did buy it and it suits me well. I don't think she lied I'm quite sure she did were it at last for the ad. It's not because you don't like something or don't have the same taste as someone (here aishwarya) that it is the same sor everyone. I'm not an Aish fan neither a L'oreal one but I'm happy with my 9 euros lipcolor.

Anonymous said...

Do you have a Hollywood version of this blog? It's great by the way.

Anonymous said...

I absolutely love Aish's beige. You have to pile it on as the formulation is similar to Mac's lustre lippies. I absolutely love this color and I think it makes my lips look great. It does not wash me out and I am a shade darker than Rai.

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