Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Something frightful for Halloween

Pastel knickers, silver aprons, tinsel wigs with hood ornaments, cummerbunds, desi-fros, and white sneakers... Maanzil Maanzil looks to be Thriller meets disco.

watch out for the brown b-boys!

Is good, no?

WTF?!? Do I give her some candy or kick her off the porch, turn off the lights and hide?
Via Turbanhead. Trick or Treat, fugglers.

I hate to fug a movie before it comes out...

...BUT tell me why Hrithik is lookin' like,
"Hulk Hogan, are you my daddy?" in this pic.

Hulk says,

Last Minute Halloween suggestions

If you were too late at the costume agency and those wonderful Suryavanshi warrior costumes where already rented out,

there are still some options for some DIY guises, by taking inspiration from Khoobsurat.

Like the funny swiss cook:

Or the walking pink lace curtain:

And if everything fails you can still raid grandmas closet and wear her sunday church dress:

Happy Halloween everybody!

Monday, October 30, 2006

Not *that* kind of Indian!

Turbanhead reminded me of the school-yard trauma I used to endure, as one of the sole brown kids at my elementary school, in the late 70's-early 80's; being chased around by some gross cheez-whiz eating bully-boy who smelled like mayonnaise and FunFruits, beating his open palm over his mouth, whooping up a war-cry and doing some bastard version of a rain dance. To that kid, and to whomever is responsible for the costuming of "Naach Meri Jaan" from Main Sundar Hoon, I say:

It's not *that* kind of Indian! (idiot!)

I mean it, Columbus got LOST, it's a fact...

Half a century later, can we please stop confusing Indians with Indians??

What? You say the rest of the song clip has Hula dancing and an acid-trippy "Into The Woods" set? Well, it is Monday... consider this your early Halloween present.

Your real present arrives tomorrow, little BollyFugglers.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

I can't decide...

...whether or not this qualifies. Not wearing anything at all is quite the bold costume choice.

This is my favorite shot from the whole film. So cute of Sid to cover his crack...

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Keemat, starring Saif Ali Khan & Akshay Kumar

This is actually a particular favorite of mine; along with Main Khiladi Tu Anari which is loads of fun as well.

First off, I would like to compliment Ms. Tandon on her willingness to pad her butt for comedic effect;

and to get tarted up as a mother-in-law to-be. With a gray streak in her hair.

Oh no. No no no no no no, boys. We do not wear Speedos. Ever.

Because if you do, everyone will stand around and point and mock you; and follow it up with a musical number.

Although... Akshay does redeem himself somewhat by looking rather kickass here, even in a cowboy hat.

Replay - The Truth

I already posted this on Bollywoodbloggers back in August, but I feel "the truth" needs to be spread here as well. Click for original size.

Suryavanshi is just a never ending well of treasures.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Bang bang! Disco Dancer

Thanks to Vik at Sepia Mutiny, it became all too clear that the time was all too right to get our hands dirty with the canon.

It's so easy.

It's sooo easy.

It's sooooo easy. And these are all from the same song.

A 1980s Bollywood movie about a 70s dance phenomenon. So very rich.

Jimmy's debut.

Not so bad, really; a lot of the girlsies on my college campus are wearing belts not unlike this these days. The crease down the front of his pants is intriguing, though. And do not overlook the backup gals in pink, who have on those
ice-skater-type tops that are sheer to look like bikini tops.

I haven't actually seen Barbarella but I sense these boots might have been raided from its costume shop.

On to the Krishna song.

Black outfit with feather seams lacking a little something?

Spice it up with some streamers!

Or with some ninja-y looking folks, also with streamers of course.

Or try some matching capes and skirts

and oh my stars the black calf-high socks. I think these are what puzzle me most of all.

And they're equally bad on either gender.

Given our project here, this might be jumping the gun, but I'm going to go ahead and award these pastel, be-cape-ed, black-socked monstrosities the Worst Backup Dancer Outfits in Bollywood (Coordinated for Both Genders) (so individual entries for female and male are still up for grabs). What I like about these is how peculiar they are. How did anyone ever think these were a good idea? They don't show up on film particularly well. They're certainly not flattering. They're not à la mode from any era.

I know he's wounded and all, but the poncho is silly. And I actually liked Rita's outfit here until I noticed that the pants were split down the side with some kind of gold thingy holding the bits together. I really hate lace-up-effect clothing. Hate.

And the greatest firangi in Bollywood, Bob Christo! It you must wear tight white pants, Bob, do it like Amitabh and my FPMFIL in Muqaddar Ka Sikandar.

I fast forwarded through this whole movie looking for gems, but you know what? Apart from the songs, the clothes here are pretty darn normal, especially given that it's 1) Bollywood, 2) 1983, and 3) about disco.

fugged on trailers alone: Khullam Khulla Pyaar Karen

I haven't seen this and I don't think I'm going to. According to imdb, this came out in 2005 - 2005 - but surely it was made ages earlier and for whatever reason was released later. Anyhoo. I just popped in Disco Dancer but got sidetracked by the delights in this trailer.

I don't like vests. With straw hats, even worse. Poor Preity. Govinda is maybe wearing snow pants at Niagara Falls in the summer (and despite popular opinion, Canada is not in fact freezing all the time, especially in summer).

Patterns can be mixed, but not like this. And again, poor Preity, they put her in a short-sleeved hoodie, which is mainly just stupid rather than interestingly bad.

Sometimes recoiling in confusion is really the only possible response.

There are plenty more where this came from, but Mithun beckons (and these are too pixely to do the thing justice).

How Not To Wear Stripes, or Kareena: Part 1 in a Very Long Series

Although, vertical stripes are preferable to horizontal stripes, I suppose.

Govinda: A Beginning

Fine, fine! Here's Govinda... not that this is even a good example of his more egregious choices...
From Jodi No. 1 - note the lovely red & purple, and the ever-so stylin' sideways baseball cap!

Here he is with the lovely Rani in Chalo Ishq Ladaaye. But I honestly think her boots make him look... well, subdued!

Dibs on Disco Dancer!

A clever reader over at Sepia Mutiny suggested we do it and since I own the film and have nothing better to do tonight, I would love to post on it (not that there isn't enough to go around). As if there even could be anything better than making fun of Disco Dancer. And Akshaye will help.

How high can you reach...

I always thought that I´ve seen Anils hair at its peak in Vijay. How wrong I was.

He can do better. In Jhooth Bole Kauwa Kaate.

But then again, maybe he just needed a sharp contrast to his "undercover" hairstyle?

The Shoes Make The Outfit

Know what makes a lousy outfit...

... even worse?

Ugly shoes.

Up next? Ash's unfortunate hair styles...

Jerome! Bring me my coat...

Co-signing off T-Hype's "Khalnayak" mention, this morning, I had to go here:

That shizz looks familiar, don't it?

Sanjay, if you're going to bite my style, ASK first.

Our First Anniversary!

Hooray! Ugly, Ugly, Bollywood Fugly has been operational for 1 whole week now. In the past seven days, I've been able to snag/coerce/bamboozle 10 authors to join me in fighting the forces of fugliness. Slowly, we're making the world a more bearable place.

So far, here's our team:
t-HYPE (me) of Beliefs, Blackness & Bollywood
Beth of Beth Loves Bollywood
Susania, The Grand Duchy of Susania
DesiDancer of Bollywood West
babasko of Baba Aur Bollywood
SECOND STRING (the wildcards who have yet to post)
Recovering Baptist of Martini Ministry
Filmiholic of well, Filmiholic.com
Maja of Nothing to Declare
Steve of Army of Monkeys
Tanya Palta of Our Bollywood
[ADDENDUM] How in the world could I forget, Ms. Pooja! So, last but not least:
Pooja as in PoojaMakhijani.com

You should hear from our second string friends soon! As always, if you have any images to pass along, SUBMIT! them using the link on the upper left.

I now leave you with a blast from the past. [Courtesy of Manish Vij.]

More images of this fiasco to come. Believe it.


Thursday, October 26, 2006

Vengeance is Mine, Sayeth the Designer...

...aaaaaaand here we go! "Naach Baliye" from Bunty aur Babli, starring Bachchan the Younger, Rani Mukherji, and Bachchan the Elder.

Here we have Rani modelling the slutastic Black Leather Bustier with Hotpants, Suitable Only for Extremely Tall Models, not Adorable Petites.

Here, Rani displays the manifold attractions of an ill-fitting bustier top, or, what I like to call, Ooze.

In this kicky little blue number, the designer has chosen to adorn Rani's bosom with a Bespangled Tube Top with utter disregard to proper support during what is surely one of the most bouncy dance numbers in Bollywood history.

In what is surely an homage to the sarong, our designer has modernized the look by using white & metallic fabrics and adding long strings of beads to the skirt; as most dancers know, this is a particularly charming addition, as the flailing of beads during a dance number is akin to self-flagellation.

Finally, before we lose all hope for Rani's morale, let us remember the lovely fitted salwar suits she was allowed to wear at other times in the film.