Thursday, August 23, 2007

Bollywood Man-Nipple - Part 1: The Good, the Bad, and the Fugly

God help you if you ever google the phrase "Bollywood man-nipple." Of course, the first site to appear is this one, but aside from that I cannot be responsible for whatever atrocities you may witness.

Because of this obvious deficiency in search engines, I have researched far and wide to find the most fugly examples of homo sapiens' most useless appendage - the man-nipple, otherwise known in Latin as the vir papilla. (As an aside, vir specifically refers to males, as opposed to mankind in general that homo implies... modern meaning aside.) My interest particularly pertains to the subgenus Bollywoodus vir papilla, more commonly called the "Bollywood man-nipple" (as previously mentioned).

Firstly, I would like to say that there is such a thing as good Bollywood man-nipple. Good man-nipple occurs when an attractive Bollywood actor, hereafter referred to "John Abraham," appears completely topless - no need for cloth to obscure a solid chest, am I right or am I right? Good man-nipple also occurs when aforementioned "John Abraham" is wearing a button-up shirt that is buttoned incompletely. However, good man-nipple can be easily or suddenly changed to bad man-nipple if "John Abraham" appears wearing a mesh shirt, strange make-up, or any other fashion atrocity. And then, of course, there is the "fugly man-nipple," which is a category that completely defies definition. To illustrate:
  • Good man-nipple

    Yes, please.
  • Bad man-nipple

    Good nipple... bad underpants.
  • Fugly man-nipple

    He seems less appetizing in this get-up, but I suddenly crave a salad.

    Please stay tuned for Bollywood Man-Nipple - Part 2: When Bad Nipples Happen to Good People.

    Katrin said...

    I bow to your greatness! Well, as soon as I've picked myself up off the floor where I landed after staring at illustration no. 1 for too long. Plus, I have to admit that I hadn't even noticed the rather unfortunate underpants on the other picture. Probably because the part above them completely held my attention ... :D

    Anonymous said...

    Hrithik-nipple will always be my favorite, though, mostly because it's attached to the rest of him.

    ZenDenizen said...

    The underpants aren't that bad.

    Finding My Identity said...

    I am sorry, I just couldn't move beyond pic 1..I think you should illustrate the bad nipple part in a totally different post far far away from the other delicious pics.

    Indianoguy said...

    You bloody perverts!
    As an exotic Indian male, I once more protest your objectification of brown mans nipple.
    You people are going to rot in hell, for doing this to a fellow innocent brown man :P

    t-hype said...

    Bas, I can hardly breathe!

    I think it's the terrible combination of awe and fright...

    Miss Bolly said...

    LOVE! John makes such good eye candy.

    Beth said...
    This comment has been removed by the author.
    Manish said...

    Aditi Gowitrikar's bosom does not need drought-tolerant switchgrass. Quelle horreur.

    Hidethosenipples said...

    Haha, great article!
    What happened to Part 2?

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