Thursday, September 27, 2007

Bollywood Man-Nipple - Part 2: When Bad Nipples Happen to Good People

Shahrukh, we need to talk. Again.



Ignoring the India FM insignia across your chest, there are a few problems. I'm going to ask this straight-up. Please put a shirt on.

I'm not going to lie, SRK, we've had nipple issues with you before. There's your penchant for wearing transparent shirts, a proclivity that is widely documented in the films of Karan Johar.

But this.

This is a problem.

I do have to admit that I like the construction worker motif. There are certain professions that are more attractive than others. Some are drawn to pilots and military men, because who doesn't love a guy in uniform? Others like artists and actors, who are more creative. Quite frankly, a construction worker is sexy because you know that he's got to be good with his hands. And I like the hair, too. In fact, I like everything that's going on above the neck and below the waist.

But.

Your man-nipples.

Shahrukh, let's not mince words. You're an attractive guy, but you're over forty. And I don't know what the heck you have done to yourself to make your arm-veins pop out like a blood donor's dream. To top it off, you are not oozing sex appeal, as may have been the goal in this photo shoot. You are just plain oozing. I do not know what you are oozing, but that is gross. And it is oozing all over your normally lovely man-nipples. (And we know they're lovely, because we've seen Dil Se).

I know you're catching a lot of flak for this (see Beth's earlier post), and I know it's all in the name of movie promotion, but Shahrukh, please - do us all a favor. Put those man-nipples away.

17 comments:

Maharani said...

It's SRK, though--he's an icon. He can do what he wants, and we'll still love him.

But as for the shirtlessness....that's Farah Khan's doing. She has always wanted to have SRK do a shirtless song for her.

Susania said...

you know, that makes sense. It's Farah's fault! ;)

Anonymous said...

Oh my God. How? How is he so cut all of a sudden?

And does this mean we start using "Uncle Chest" now? It's only fair, since you did it to Salman.

And yeah, those man-nipples could cut through glass. Ew.

anangbhai said...

Haven't I seen this porn movie somewhere? Seriously Shahrukh, you're cutting into Peter North's business with them nipples.

Btw, thought you guys would like this. Its something stupid I made.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDncWcuMdZg

Beth said...

Maybe there's a Hindi Hulk in the works?

The veins are scary. Whither Rahul?

cutie said...

"OMIGOSH!!!! Now I've seen it all !" said my 130 year old granma and requested that we pull out the respirator plug.

Blue said...

I chanced to see the back-story of this miraculous body transformation on Indian television.

The story the public is getting is that SRK's kids were telling him he was too fat, so he decided to start working out. In the meanwhile he got the Om Shanti Om deal and they decided to incorporate the "working out" idea into the film. And in four months he scored this creepy, veiny, muscular body.

He says he wants to "redefine sexy." We all know he's only redefining "fugly."

Also... steroids, yes?

Miss Bolly said...

Dear. Lord.

I'm speechless at how bad that photo is. Really, where is his publicist? For shame!

Beth said...

Is there a joke to be made here about bringing sexy back? (Not that I find this sexy. Decidedly not.)

t! said...

The first time I saw this picture, it wasn't the nipples that scared me. It was the flaps of chest skin covering the new muscles. I think that is why they smeared fake dirt on the chest, to hide the fact that he is showing his age and that men get loose skin over 40, too...

He is still the sexiest man alive, but even sexy people should know how to pose for a camera.

Kash said...

He looks like the one guy of the "Village People" on this bad picture.

yves said...

Wow... I think this picture is a morph... It can't be SRK!!!

Or if it is he that I'm seeing, something's wrong with :
- my eyes
- my screen
- the photographer
- SRK's laundry cleaner
- Gauri's fast ageing
- some bug in SRK's central system

*I can't choose!!!*

Sandip said...

Somehow i feel the pics are worked on in photoshop. And thats besides the make up or mud cakes they smeared him with. He looks a lot better in the videos but he has danced horribly. Which is an achievement as he is a fab dancer. Om Shanti Om dard-e-disco trailer Normally he is a fun and infectious kind of dancer. here he is stuck up about his new rippling body. Reminds me of Shekhar Suman. heh ehh heheh

Neha said...

a halloween release wld have made more sense, no?

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