"Aishy aur Abi/Aishy aur Abi/They are coming to your town..."

Snce it has been mentioned on this blog before, and Ash is certainly a regular figure on the site, and this union may bring forth the next generation of Bollywood...

Ash, Abishek May Wed on February 19th

Gah!

There's fugly, and then there's...this. Amisha Patel, whose costumers have been explicitly warned (although not before this movie came out, to be fair), begins this song in Aap Ki Khatir looking relatively normal, if overly eyeliner-ed.


After all, she's the bride-to-be, out celebrating, so we'll allow her some excesses. And her red top looks nice enough, though maybe a bit too small in the chestal region.

But then she gets up to join the dance and we can see her entire one-piece, bell-bottomed, peekaboo jumpsuit.


(Sunil's all "damn, girl" and she's all "I have to hide my face in shame!")


I really don't know what to say. It's so clearly wrong, but I can't think of a single adjective to sum it up precisely. And I am a woman obsessed; I took six screen captures of this so that its full fugliness, from squishy top to bizarre middle to really wide bottom, could be seen by all.

On the other hand, this film gave subtitled glory to a theme of this blog:

A Defense of White Christmas

OK, Beth, I am restraining my righteous indignation out of respect for your usually impeccable blogpresence... But you do NOT mock my beloved White Christmas, which, after It's A Wonderful Life is the BEST Christmas movie ever. I adore the clothes - the huge crinolined skirts and the lovely colors... and the music & dancing is fantastic, and it should be remade by Bollywood since the plot is pure Bollywood, if you really think about it, right?

I'm thinking...

• SRK for Bing Crosby (light-hearted gravitas)
• Kajol for Rosemary Clooney (goody! pair 'em up again!)
• Saif for Danny Kaye (comic timing)
• Preity for Vera-Ellen (although, we need a really spectacular dancer here...)
• Big B for the General (the audience would be in tears during the tribute at the end!)

And I think Karan Johar would be all over the melodrama of the plotline... what do you think?

Hollywood fugly for the holidays

I watched the 1954 classic White Christmas last night and my heavens there are some insane clothes in there. Even the cover - fur much, folks?


I've seen the movie at least half a dozen times in the last few years, but I must not have watched it since I began watching Bollywood, so it was before my sensitivity to clothing in musical numbers began to (over-)develop. If you get a chance, please do check out the "Minstrel Show/Mandy" number for the ultimate in crazy, including men in red gloves and bottle-green suits and bespangled backup dancers with glittery tamborines with faces drawn on them. This image doesn't do the song justice, but it does contain my favorite dance move, in which Danny Kaye and Bing Crosby skip-flap towards Vera-Ellen.

The set is weird too, with white and red scrolly, frothy, Chinoiserie-looking pieces that twirl around. Here's "Mandy," the second part of the song.

So, in the spirit of tight, shiny, sparkly, brightly-colored clothes from all cultures, happy holidays, fuggers. Try not to use the tinsel as an accessory.

Purple Reign

Tanya over at Our Bollywood posted some photos from the GIFA Awards. I appreciate her brining this dire situation to light.

I think we need to stage an intervention for the designer who thought men in form-fitting, sparkly purple pants and body harnesses would be a hit...

Fortunately, Hrithik's outfit is above reproach. ;)

not so much "fug" as "woah"

Behold, just a few of the incredibly wonderful fashions from Bobby (1973). I truly enjoyed them all, even if some of them are not exactly what I would choose to wear myself. This is the best possible bell-bottomed, minidress, cat-eyed, bouffanted costuming glee. Genius work, C. G. Hanuman.

I was going to say that a picture was worth a thousand words and then just let you take it all in, but then I remembered that it was imperative that I point out that the long white dress with the paisley shapes in it has cut-out bits inside the paisleys, because I didn't notice that the first time I saw it.

Salman Khan (Again) and Backup Dancers (Again)

At first glance, the male backup dancers look as if they are wearing silver overalls. But when they turn around, you realize those aren't overalls.

Oh, and Salman Khan seems to have raided SRK's collection of gauzy, georgette shirts.

you gotta know when to fold 'em

Though I'm new to the Vinod Khanna fan club, am I still allowed to say that this is perhaps not the ultimate comeback look?*

It's not horrible - though I have made my feelings about facial hair abundantly clear, and clean-shaven-ness is one of Akshaye's (and others') most endearing qualities - but the dark hair and white beard thing has already been done, and since you forfeitted your shot at being a bigger star than Amitabh decades ago, just let it go and do your own thing. Or Kenny Rogers's thing, whatever.

* To be fair, he did say it was for a specific role in his new movie Risk, and in this interview, at least, he seems to look like a very normal man in a shirt and ambervisions.

Thanks to Babasko for the tip.

Hott Guys Gone Fugly - Hrithik Roshan

I LOVE me some Hrithik. At the same time, Hrithik strikes me as the sort of fellow who's a little too nice. The sort of person who would find it difficult to tell a costume designer that their idea sucked and that under no circumstances would he walk around looking like someone's fashion school senior project. Poor Hrithik...

Let's recap:

YaadeinHoly Fashion Crisis Rocky S! What the heck is going on!

Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham
Keep makin' that face Hrithik, 'cause it's not funny.


Dhoom 2
In addition to the arguably tepid kiss:Hrithik - Hulk Hogan's sidekick

And now presenting new offenses:

Koi Mil GayaWanted: Mentally challenged costume for mentally challenged character.
(Need a close up of the ornate fabric?)Warning: This photo features male cleavage, an ascot and fake snakeskin.
(Need another view?)

Yaadein
Pearlescence is not always priceless.
Especially when it comes with matching headband and cummerbund belt.

That whole segment from Yaadein wins the What the FUG?! award in my book.

Also, I must ask, was anyone else irked by the black "peek-a-boo" sweater in K3G?

Bollywood Fugly lesson #5: leave the outfit title up to the imagination

Text space on clothing should be saved for something the viewer can't guess, like, perhaps, a haiku, or your phone number, or known allergies to medications.




(Commando, 1998)

I can't think of just the right joke to make about Mithun Chakraborty being someone's "big tiger," if you know what I mean.

Bollywood Fugly v. Amisha Patel

Exhibit A:


Exhibit B:


Exhibit C:


Exhibit D:

Exhibit E:

I rest my case.

Clooney + Bollywood = 4Evah

Aaaaaaaaand here's the latest Hollywood celeb to make vague but enthusiastic generalizations about Bollywood. Although... I would watch that movie!

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/ent/celebrities/4385519.html

Kiss Me Not

By now, you probably all know that Aishwarya Rai and Hrithik Roshan have been slapped with charges of obscenity for their "kiss" in Dhoom 2. Shailendra Dwivedi, a lawyer in Indore, said the scene "lowered the dignity of Indian women and gave an obscene message to youth." [link]

Now, we at Bollywood Fugly want to know--was it all worth it? Was the darn kiss hot or not?

Watch...



and decide...

How hot was the Ash-Hrithik kiss in Dhoom 2?

Sizzling Hot So-So Hot Not so Hot

Make Free Online Polls

Maximum Fugly

OMG! If you haven't checked out Amardeep's post on Sepia Mutiny from that great purveyor of fashion, Nach Baliye 2, (available on the Star One satallite channel), then you absolutely should.

There's no business like show business!

Shakalaka Bhoom Bhoom

I know its not fair to fug a movie even before there is any substancial info about it available but this has to be seen to be believed:


Oh Bobby.

Kasme Vaade - Promise you won't wear this again...

A bit before Thanksgiving, Daddy's Girl sent me a few fine specimines from Kasme Vaade, a film from 1978. (The auspicious year of my birth!) Here are the highlights:

1. Neetu Singh's stripey-socks-and-knee length dungarees ensemble - there were like 5 different ensembles of this type, but I only captured two. In one of the shots, you'd be forgiven for thinking her fellow workers at the mechanic's workshop are trying to kill her for wearing that...

2. Amitabh's white overalls (worn with a white jacket) with a picture of a key and a bus emblazoned on them (oh, and the key doubles as a pocket - very clever).

3. Amjad Khan's hunchback - if you're gonna do a hunchback on the bad guy (which you shouldnt, as it's neither funny, nor scary nor politically correct), at least try to make sure the hump doesn't move around like a hyperactive lump of jelly with every move the actor makes.... I think Amjad was supposed to be frightening. (He even did the same nasty laugh he does in 'Sholay'), but I just kept wondering when the hump was gonna fall out of his shirt.

As for Ms. Neetu's stripes, I'm sure she was just trying to rock the styles of the times. These dolls were very popular those days. I had two but they were black of course. And then, there's always the possibility that it was an oblique reference to these famous legs...

Men in Pink

Being terribly bored during another insomniac night, I worked my way through some web-favorites I haven´t visited for a while and remembered this fantastic clip assembled and conceived by the fantastic Missionbas ladies (if you are able to read German be sure to visit at least their "Shashi´s Fashiontipps" section and read all about the "Krawattenskandal")

Its not exactly fugly (in fact I looove some of the clothes there) but still very much worth a dekho:

Fugly Face-off!

It's one man pitted against another, each trying to one-up the other in all things fugly!

THE CHAMPION

"Yes, I am looking pretty fugly. Get a load of this bow tie!"

THE CHALLENGER

"Dude! Check me out in my black-bow-tie-with-blue-suit, plus these ridiculously oversized Nicole Ritchie sunglasses!"


"Fortunately I have both a matching vest and highly visible sweatstains! Beat that!"


"Double whammy! Red scarf tied around the head and a double-breasted vest made from upholstery! That's impossible to beat!"


"We have a new fugly champion!"

(Screenshots from the song "Chaand Mera Dil" from 1977's Hum Kisi Se Kum Nahin)

Baazigar (Part II)

Worst backup dancer costumes, you say?

I don’t think so...

The male dancers look like a pack of cards.



I won’t even start on SRK’s fugly outfit (What’s the "X" on his t-shirt stand for? And those pants! Ew!) and Kajol’s shocking-pink, fringe-tastic, beaded, legging number.

(For the record, I adore early 1990's Kajol; I had the same frizzy hair and eyebrows circa 1993.

Kidding aside, she’s one of my Bollywood faves.)

Baazigar (Part I)

SRK dressed like "Zorro." SRK in short-shorts. SRK in sailor wear. SRK as a matador.

Need I say more?

Fashion Smorgasbord

One of my all-time favorite Bollywood films is Main Khiladi Tu Anari (1994). It's just got it ALL - genuine AND unintentional comedy, some good songs, Akshay Kumar and Saif Ali Khan... I find it delightful. And it has got some of the most excessive fashion ever seen on screen - too much of everything.

The backup dancers were particularly ill-dressed in this film. Note the ankle boots and black leggings paired with the be-sequined and be-feathered tutus.

Here in a closeup we can see the overall design confusion - Too Much Of Everything. Simplicity and one overarching theme is not in this designer's playbook.

From a distance, it appears the girls are wearing cheerleader costumes; they have just discarded the pom-poms and twirling batons they entered with. The skirts are sequined, they are wearing visors, and playing flutes. Like all cheerleaders do.

Not content with an actual cheerleader costume, our designer has chosen to give the girls ruched tube tops with spaghetti straps, and hoop earrings with wide choker necklaces.

What has to be the most embarrassing male backup dancer costume in the history of Bollywood. Gentlemen, I am so very sorry.

It's difficult to get a clear shot of the jacket Saif is wearing in this number, but the sleeves are hung with chains, and the front of the jacket is covered with medallions, crosses, and other large silver pendants.

Here we have Akshay and Shilpa Shetty in the "Churake Dil Mera" number. Shilpa wears a different animal for each location; red Leopard for making out on the beach...

...Zebra for frolicking dockside...

...Tiger for rolling around in the grass...

...and the most endangered of them all, Linoleum for boating. Note that with Akshay, we get not only the gold chain and open shirt of the 70s, but also the Miami Vice pastel jacket with the pushed-up sleeves.

I may need to create an entire post just for Shakti Kapoor's wardrobe.

Baabul boo-boos

Baabul boo-boo No. 1

When bad dye jobs happen to good people...



Baabul boo-boo No. 2

The 70s called and they want their Members Only - the Leather Edition - jacket back.



Baabul boo-boo No. 3

She's mighty pretty, but there are a lot of colors happening on that tiny Bengali frame...

Was there a sale on bandanas?

Is this like the Al Pachino film where the color of your bandana means something?

Never mind that Uday wears one during the entire movie. At one point they even get Hrithik to don one: