Salaam-e-Fug

Okay, not really; the movie had little to fug - its problems were elsewhere - but you can't have a cast of three zillion without some missteps.

On the up side, Akshaye wears a jaunty shirt with butterflies on it.


On the down side, he also wears this ugly denim marching band jacket:


See the embellishments on the sleeve?

They're so evil that they're taking over his arm in a self-destructive rage and making him choke himself!

But that is nothing compared to Anil Kapoor, who of course is supposed to look ridiculous here - and well done!


I think here he might be trying to communicate that even though he looks like an idiot, at least he isn't pulling a Himesh Reshammiya like every other man in this shot.

So Much FUG!

As I've said before, we aim to please. Maya, this post is for you.

From Jhoom Barabar Jhoom (click to enlarge):

Even more on the Yash Raj Films website.

(Pretty) Girls Gone Fugly

We admit, it's difficult to fug Mrs. Bachchan 2.0.

However, Ash wasn't always Ms. Pretty-Perfect.

A look back at her debut film, Jeans...

India to Europe: "Anything you can do, we can do better."

Alternate title: "So you think you can fug?"
Alternate title 2, inspired by having spent the last few days with an Australian friend: "That's not a fug. This is a fug."

Okay. Probaby most of you who read this site have at least occasionally visited our mission-statement mothership, Go Fug Yourself. But even if you're not a daily visitor like I am, it is absolutely imperative that you do not miss GFY's post on the madness that is the Eurovision Song Contest. The post is as funny as usual, and the finer points of sartorial ridiculousness are indeed ridiculous, such as the Ukranian entry.


But I can't help but think "if you think that's bad, just you get a load of this here!" If European designers of costumes for staged musical numbers propose those as eye-catching, and the people who fug them find them fuggable, then they've got another thing coming.

I've been flipping through the Eurovision website for awhile, and everything I see, even when taken all together, is just a drop in the bucket that we here at Bollywood Fugly - and all fans of popular Indian cinema everywhere - swim in every day. We'll see your feathered headdress and raise you feathers lining all the major seams of an outfit. We'll see your black knee socks coupled with a gold glitter jackets and riase you some pastel pink capes and baby blue leotards all the while singing about a major deity.

GFY, if you do ever wander over this way, may I recommend this as a starting point, with the introductory guidance that all of those pictures are from just one movie with just one person listed under "costume design"?

Aap Kaa Surroor: The Moviee: The Real Luv Story (or Numerologists Gone Mad)

No, the title of this post isn't full of typos. That is the actual English-language title of Himesh Reshammiya's debut Bollywood film.

Apparently, Himesh wears a baseball cap throughout the entire film.

What's he hiding under there?

The 2007 Zee Cine Awards fugshion

I haven't had time to watch the entire show yet (it's like, 150 hours long), but there's plenty of fug material even in the first hour or so. I've been googling like crazy to find some larger pictures than the ones I have, but I haven't had much luck, so my tiny screencaps will have to do for now.


Where do I even start? With the backing dancers' ridiculous monster-sleeves? Or how about Kashmira Shah's leather trousers with that strategically placed white patch? (And this isn't the first appearance of these Pants Of Horror, either - she wore them during the end credits of My Bollywood Bride as well. Oh, how we cringed.)

The backing dancers didn't fare any better during Priyanka's number:


More midriff-baring yeti jackets - check.
Wasp-patterned stockings - check.
Woolly hat - check.
Short yellow tie to bring the whole outfit together - check. But also, we need bright yellow binman-type trousers for the male dancers. With a few ribbons hanging off, if possible.


... I don't even understand what Priyanka is wearing here.

Everything's comin' up daisies!

1992's Jigar is godawful, but given the year and that it stars Karisma Kapoor, you know there's going to be at least one gem for this site. Mucho credit to Aparna for pointing out the gem, a very special sari.

I don't want to ruin things for anyone who wants to see this movie - which you absolutely shouldn't do, by the way - but we do need a smidge of background. Ajay needs to train really, really hard at a special martial arts country house training camp thingy so he can take revenge on the guy with a Billy Ray Cyrus-worthy mullet.

Here's Ajay, meditating near a statue of Buddha.

Karisma has been sent by the sensei to unleash her lust for him to test his concentration. She shows up - as you do - in an orange sari bedecked with plastic daisies, wearing it so high that it looks like a flouncy miniskirt.



How could you not look?

Aside: for once the costume and wardrobe department is named in imdb, and it includes Digamber Rajapurkar, who was involved with Baadshah and Main Khiladi Tu Anari, both of which have made their appearance on this site. Hat trick!

Wow.

While surfing the web for fugly photographs of Tanisha, I came across clips from Manmohan Desai's Dharam Veer. (Read a full plot summary [with spoilers] here.)

I am not sure if I like Jeetu's ruffles or Zeenat's purple cape better.

Enjoy... and remember there are EVEN MORE on YouTube!

Happy Friday!

Shakalaka Boom Boom... Again

On Filmiholic's blog review of Shakalaka Boom Boom, 'Joseph Gonsalves' writes: "Everyone’s costumes look like they’ve been sourced from a bargain basement sale at Pimps-For-Less."

This post is for you, 'Joseph.'

Did the costume designer score some sort of "buy-one-get-one" deal with the Don team?

We seemed to like Ash's cornrows. What do we think about Bobby's?

I'd Love to Eighty-Six the leg warmers....

Word on the street is that Bollywood Fugly is being beckoned. Last week I watched the early Govinda masterpiece Love 86. The clothes are actually not that bad, given that the year is...well, 1986, but I think there a few things worth sharing, and even if they aren't fugly, they're a good time, and who couldn't use a little of that right now? Plus Pooja asked me to, and who am I to say no to her?

some 80s goodness






Govinda in a Footloose shirt


a criminal making the awesome career move of wearing a jacket with his name on it


the heroines in their Holi finest


But the best part of the whole movie is the song in Govinda's first scene, sort of a Michael Jackson/West Side Story hybrid...


...unless it's the title song, with its leg warmers and Govinda in a white vest with black studded arm bands. And love-making robots.

Hands off!

Which is better: the Miss Kitty-style dresses on Japanese nightclub dancers in a 1966 Indian movie...

or that the dresses are emblazoned with skin-color-ish handprints?

(Love in Tokyo, 1966)

Holy Flying Tubes of Fairness Cream!

No matter how ridiculous a song's lyrics, Madhuri Dixit brings such grace and poise to every choreographed move. She is one hell of a dancer.

As for Salman's pseudo-bharatanatyam moves... Oy!

But where was I? Ah yes, fugging.

Salman is too easy to fug. His fashion disasters are ALL over this song. Madhuri looks just fine in a traditional lengha and angrakha but her high-waisted pants, gold body suit, and checkered jacket (fast-forward to 4:10), well... it's all very unfortunate.

And of course, where would Bollywood Fugly be without the backup dancers? Lamé seems to be a fabric of choice.

Keh Do Na, Keh Do Na, You Are My...

Soniya Liberace ?!?!?!!!!?!

Bollywood favorite bhangra boy and swooner-crooner, Sonu Nigam:

I'm too sexy for this shirt, too sexy for this shirt, so sexy it hurts...

This is why playback singers don't get any screen time, y'all. Stay off camera with that H.A.M.!
Thanks for the tip, Vij! He is Brown Liberace, to go with previously posted Brown Fabio.

Bollywood Fabio? [Updated!]

I am not sure whether this is a still from the film, but IF this is from the movie, THEN I issue the following fug!



This is a photo of Mithun Chakraborty's son, Mimoh; his first film He will be released soon.

Bollywood Fugly blogger Beth asks, "Why so shiny?" t-hype wonders if he always looks like Fabio.

Your thoughts, dear audience?

3/29/07 Update: I should have Googled a bit more before posting.





Tank tops, acid-washed jeans, and big belt buckles seem to be his specialty.

Fugly Prediction

The India Times is reporting that Govinda and Karisma Kapoor are slated to team up for a reunion pic with David Dhawan...

...which should provide this blog with enough material for a month.

Bollywood Fugly lesson #7: never say unfuggable

I really thought Sharmilee (1971), starring my new favorite person Shashi Kapoor and Rakhee (and Rakhee, and also a guy named Tiger) was unfuggable. It's 1971 and the pants are a little pegged, the hair big, the eyeliner magnificent, and the jumpsuits jumpin', but all in the most glorious possible way. I would truly hold my head high in any of Rakhee's zillion outfits (or to be seen arm-in-arm with Shashi in his).

But then, more than two hours into the 2:45 running time, the item girl gets her turn. She's no Helen, as Filmi Geek pointed out, but she does not offend particularly. But then she's joined on stage by who I think supposed to be some sort of circus strong man character, and...well, let me just show you.



He's got it all: ninja-y headband, polkadot belt, tight shorts, and white Beatle boots and socks. The first three are explicable, if we can buy that there's a circus strong man character in an item number in a villain lair in the Himalayas - and of course we can, or else we wouldn't be watching these things - but everyone knows strong men wear mid-calf black lace-up Victoriany looking boots. Beatle boots? Now that's ridiculous.